Not. Good. Enough.
Truth sure hits you in the face with grace. After struggling your hole life, it decides to come to the surface. And it kindly tells you that everything you've done up until now is meaningless. Hopeless. Stupid. Indeed, you do feel stupid. Stupid like hell on a sunny day.
N-o-t g-o-o-d e-n-o-u-g-h.
And then you say it out loud. You shout it to yourself. And then comes a cold wave of regret. Nothing but sadness and despair. You can't even look in the mirror more than 10 seconds because you're afraid that those eyes like drowning pools will pull you in. Devouring the remaining shreds of what once was your soul. Soulless. Empty. Alone.
Not good enough...
The real sad part is that everybody else doesn't even know you're not good enough. They simply ignore your very existence. So the pain begins to make you want to crawl. So the darkness is even scarier than before. It wouldn't be the first time this has happened. You've learned to live with it - walk each day pretending that there wasn't a big hole in your chest that you're trying to cover up, talk like the voices in your head do not affect you, pretend that nobody else knows how fucked up you really are. Bull shit. Just a lot of crap. You don't get used to it. You never get over it. The pain is there with you every minute of your insignificant life, feeding on your fears, laughing at the way others treat you, like you were nothing but a fucking mistake. Beautifully pathetic.
Truth sure hits you in the face with grace. After struggling your hole life, it decides to come to the surface. And it kindly tells you that everything you've done up until now is meaningless. Hopeless. Stupid. Indeed, you do feel stupid. Stupid like hell on a sunny day.
N-o-t g-o-o-d e-n-o-u-g-h.
And then you say it out loud. You shout it to yourself. And then comes a cold wave of regret. Nothing but sadness and despair. You can't even look in the mirror more than 10 seconds because you're afraid that those eyes like drowning pools will pull you in. Devouring the remaining shreds of what once was your soul. Soulless. Empty. Alone.
Not good enough...
The real sad part is that everybody else doesn't even know you're not good enough. They simply ignore your very existence. So the pain begins to make you want to crawl. So the darkness is even scarier than before. It wouldn't be the first time this has happened. You've learned to live with it - walk each day pretending that there wasn't a big hole in your chest that you're trying to cover up, talk like the voices in your head do not affect you, pretend that nobody else knows how fucked up you really are. Bull shit. Just a lot of crap. You don't get used to it. You never get over it. The pain is there with you every minute of your insignificant life, feeding on your fears, laughing at the way others treat you, like you were nothing but a fucking mistake. Beautifully pathetic.
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