Virtual insanity

I've moved!

2011-08-30T02:41:00.000-07:00

Yes, I've moved into a new and improved "house". If you are curious as to how things will go in Vampires Suck or enjoyed my other posts here, please follow at www.aberativ.ro. It is an online magazine I've built with the help of some of my closest friends, where, unlike on Virtual insanity, I post a variety of things - movie&book reviews, fashion trends, paintings&poems of my own, photos of the places I've visited etc.
So I hope you'll follow me there & become an Aberativ.ro fan!

Hugs,
Chri2s (aka Cristina Ion, ex-Christine Riddles)

Painted lamp (2)

2011-05-08T11:31:00.000-07:00

This is my mom's. She's a sucker for girly designs, so this is what I painted on her lamp.

Painted lamp

2011-05-07T03:00:00.000-07:00

My lamp was very plain looking, so I decided to try painting something on it.

This is the final result... hope you like it >_<

If you look closely, you can see that the girl's right eye looks like a crow too.

Vampires suck (11)

2011-02-27T15:38:00.000-08:00

FABIAN

Fan-fucking-tastic. Wait, maybe I should hypnotize her into not coming. Scratch that. What is wrong with me? Only had the special vampire powers for a couple of minutes and I’m already thinking of using them all the time – now I know how politicians feel. But I can’t use them on Laila. It wouldn’t be fair. Besides, she’d snap right out of it just to annoy the hell out of me.

So that’s how a few hours later Laila and I drove off in my car towards the address Gabriel had given me.

“You know, you seem awfully quiet.” Laila was looking outside the window while speaking cautiously.

“You think?” I rolled my eyes at her. Which she couldn’t see having her face turned away, but still, it made me feel better.

“Are you worried about me tagging along? Don’t be, you’ll see…”

“I’ll see what? How you’re such a wonder woman and I was blind to it all this time? Don’t think so, Laila. I’ll tell you what I’ll see – YOU making my life already more complicated than it is.” And then I slammed the engine-wheel hard. Yep, get it all out, boy. I turned my head towards her. She hadn’t even twitched.

“FYI…” she started.

“FYI?” Huh?

“For your information! Would you let me speak already? So, for your information, I was going to say that you’ll see how Gabriel will act more… civil if I’m there too.”

I couldn’t believe my ears. “You think he’d be polite just because I brought a human girl with me? Ha, you’re really something.”

“As a matter of fact, I do think so. He’s too much of a lady’s man.” That was true.

“So this was your intention from the beginning?”

“That and – I’m bored and enjoy being surrounded by dangerous and hot vampires.” I was just about to yell at her again when I heard her giggling. Oh, great, a joke. “Fabian.”

“What is it now?”

“There’s something else bothering you, isn’t it?”

“No.”

“I knew it!”, she jumped in her seat, “there is something bothering you! You’re acting way too cool. What is it?”

“You really shouldn’t take so many liberties around a vamp. Stop acting stupid.”

“I’m not stupid, but you’re not just any vamp, we already…” but her voice was lost and replaced with an awkward silence. Ah, the memory of me drinking her blood. We hadn’t discussed it. I’d actually hoped she would forget about it when she passed out.

“I can hypnotize people.”

“HUH?” Discussion-about-previous-blood-sucking-and-maybe-more avoided. “Seriously?” But I didn’t get to answer her question. A huge warehouse was coming into view just a few feet away.

LAILA

Talk about creepy. Now that’s a Horror movie stereotype – the warehouse. What can I say, I expected more of Gabriel.

The two of us got out of the car without hurrying. To say we weren’t eager to see the spoiled prince again was an understatement. But you can’t put things on hold forever. So we knocked on the metal door and soon enough a red-haired boy, who looked fifteen or so, opened the door.

“C’mon in” he gestured us. God, he was cute, freckles and everything. Plus, he had the advantage of his years. The boy smiled and I saw he was wearing braces. Good for him, thinking of his future apparel. “I’m Payne”, he then said in a calm voice.

“Huh?” I uttered. “You’re in pain?” He just blinked at me several times.

“His name is Payne”, Fabian whispered in my ear. Oh. Well, it’s not my fault his parents were mentally challenged when they named their baby-boy.

“Follow me, the others are already here.” Payne was guiding us towards an empty hall. The others? Fabian and I looked at each other. Friends of Gabriel – oh, this wasn’t going to be pleasant.

“Don’t be alarmed, human.” Payne spoke as he was walking with his back turned to us. Don’t be alarmed? Yeah, sure, tell that to the mice that got caught in the trap. But wait, what did he just call me?

“Human?” Was I slow this day or what? Payne turned around to face me. Fabian instantly acted as my shield. Even with my path blocked, I could still hear a low hiss coming from Payne’s lips. Cute innocent little boy, my ass.

“Why bring an ignorant one with you?” he asked Fabian. Was he talking about me? That fucking –...

FABIAN

... – brat. I was towering over him by a good few inches and yet he still showed no respect. As I recall, vampire protocol was a bit more strict than this. And I did sense power coming from the vampire in front of me, so that was not a new-born mistake. Now that I thought about it, his clothes seemed out of place – or should I say, out of century? Another old geezer like Gabriel? Great, just great.

“Back off. Or else.” This came out as a growl although I hadn’t intended it to. My muscles started pulsing and my pulse was speeding up. The surge of power left behind from the previous feeding was running through my veins like an electric shock. Before I knew it, my fangs were out, saying hello to our new, little and not-so-young-as-he-appeared friend.

And then everything happened in a flash. I pushed him and Payne plunged for my neck. At the same time, I heard something – the sound of metal strings being ripped off. Payne had brought out his fangs to play as well.

LAILA

Now that’s something you don’t see every day. As Payne’s fangs grew long enough for them to show, the realization downed on me – he was a vampire that wore braces! Or at least, that had worn braces up until then. But here comes the really good part: he was a vampire that wore braces because his fangs were crooked! Oh, my God, if only my life were a TV series, the rating would have gone up, up and away and all that thanks to Payne’s little defect.

“Are your fangs...?” It was Fabian’s turn to sound dumb now.

“SHUT UP!” Payne screeched at us. “Look what you made me do! It’s the fourth one already!” But it was too late. Fabian was trembling and was very much on the verge of...

“HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!”

...laughing. Which only caused Payne’s screams to increase and his face to boil up. Oh, yeah, now he was acting like his human years demanded him to – like a boy hitting puberty.

FABIAN

Okay, so I laughed a little. Maybe a little bit more. Down the drain goes my noble-self reputation, but cut me some slack, this was priceless.

As the laughing turned into giggles – yeah, I was literally giggling, Payne resumed his walk and this time ignored us completely. He then stopped in the middle of the floor and pulled out a few loose wooden boards exposing a passageway. Then he disappeared into it.

We followed, of course. Might as well get this over with. I was beginning to think Payne was one to hold a grudge judging by his lack of acknowledgement towards us. He barely paused to see if Laila and I were coming after him.

The passageway was lighted by torches here and there. It looked menacing and medieval. But nothing would look more menacing than what came next.

Payne stood before a beautifully carved door. This time he waited for us to surpass him and politely invited us to go on. I opened it and found myself in an immense ball-room. The only problem was that it was packed full - of vampires that is.

Bags & Roses

2011-02-15T03:02:00.000-08:00

I've started painting again... and this time I actually like the final result.

Hope you guys do too >_<

before the filling...

and... TA-DAA!

VS - Christmas Special

2010-12-12T03:25:00.000-08:00

Have you ever wondered how the VS characters look like?

Well, the holidays are coming, so here's a little treat.

FABIAN

LAILA

GABRIEL

EMILY

WILL

That's all... hope you like the pictures.

Happy Holidays!

Vampires suck (10)

2010-12-11T16:40:00.000-08:00

LAILA

Ugh, Gabriel’s so full of himself! And what was that all about feeding? Fabian needs a doctor to treat those wounds, for Heaven’s sake.

“Leave now.” Fabian whispered. Was he still in that much pain? But his eyes, those cool fogy eyes burned me with their intensity. Suddenly, his phrase seemed more of a question.

“No. You need help. Let me get you to a hospital...”

“You’re joking, right? They’d study me like the fascinating new discovery I am. Human doctors can’t help me.”

“Then what can?”

“Human blood.” I couldn’t help but shiver. “It will heal me instantly.”

“Then... go and do the blood-baggie snatching thing, you know.”

“I can’t.”

What? You’re a vampire, you’re so fast you can become almost invisible, what do you mean you can’t? Out loud I said, “Why not?”

“Because I’ve lost a lot of blood myself, in case you didn’t notice.” So that made him weak and incapable of inhuman speed now.

“And what happens if you don’t feed?”

“Nothing happens, Laila. I’ll still heal faster than a human, I just won’t be fully recovered for the meeting tomorrow.” He sounded irritated. Good, that made two of us.

“But you’ll need your strength if you’re going to some freaky vampire reunion!”

“Again with the shouting. Forgive me, but how does any of this concern you? I thought I told you to leave.” He was pacing slowly towards me, pushing me against the door.

“No.” I held my ground. “I know I’m being stubborn, but you need my help.”

Fabian raised one very elegantly arched eyebrow at me and asked, “I’m sorry, I don’t think I remember saying I needed a double cheeseburger.”

“No, you need something that I already have on me.” I felt him freeze beside me. Fabian - still and quiet, that was a rare sight. And I would’ve laughed at him too if my heart wouldn’t have been beating like crazy. Oh, my God. What was wrong with me? I just offered myself as a meal to a vampire!

But there was this other voice in my head, somewhere deep down, a voice telling me I had to do this. I couldn’t walk away.

“Do you know what you’re asking of me?”

“Fabian, I’m blonde, not retarded. Go ahead and eat – drink, whatever, before I change my mind.”

“Laila, this will hurt. There’s no pleasure in a vampire’s bite when they’re in a state such as the one I am. It usually feels good, but it won’t now.”

“You promise you won’t kill me?” He looked almost startled.

“Of course, I’d never...”

“Good then, do it. Bite me.”

What a brave little girl I was. At least, on the outside.

FABIAN

Laila sat down on the couch and swept her hair to the side. I followed her and slowly tilted her head to expose her neck. Drinking from a live donor was against everything I stood for, but it didn’t matter anymore. I was past that line. And it had only taken one little human girl.

As I put my lips on her warm neck, gently searching for a spot, the flow of sensations was overwhelming. I remembered the attraction her blood had exampled when we had just recently met. I remembered how I almost forgot myself and jumped at her. But I also remembered her voice, calling me back from the depths of my soul or whatever might be left of it.

Laila had closed her eyes and was looking like an Ancient marble statue. Skin so creamy, so sweet...

And then my fangs came out so suddenly they grazed that beautiful skin a little.

LAILA

At first, it was just a scratch and I almost gasped in surprise. But then, I felt what every vampire victim should really feel – no pleasure, no sexual urge, just pain somewhere in the background. And up in front, there was only the sucking. I felt the blood being sucked from me, the very essence of my life being drained. Not the slightest hint of a turn-on.

I also realized that this pain was a good pain. I was healing Fabian. I was giving him strength. It was like being an over-enthusiastic cheerleader.

But a minute later the energy around me changed. I knew when he’d healed because the biting started feeling good. The hell, it felt great. So great I clutched and clawed at Fabian, whispering over and over again – “closer, closer”. And the vampire defense I barely sensed before abruptly turned into some kind of a vampire magnet – for this particular vampire, that is.

Fabian’s hands were moving on my body now and every touch felt like fire. He had stopped feeding from me and was planting kisses on my collarbone. And then I entangled both my hands in that raven black hair and lifted his head up.

“See, I saw your fangs after all.”

Fabian watched me with such wonder in his eyes that I started feeling drunk with his very presence. He smiled his devilish smile, but this time with a hint of fang. A little bit of my blood was smeared like traces of lipstick on his lips and I bent down to kiss them.

But before I could ever reach them, everything blacked out.

Panic had engulfed me as deeply and completely as the dark. I had dreamed of this place before. Such an endless hall with walls painted in black. That thought didn’t seem to help pretend the pain wasn’t real, though. Such pain, such suffering...

I ran and ran and finally settled on the ground on all fours, gasping for air, but I just couldn’t seem to get enough into my lungs. “NO!” I tried screaming, but my voice didn’t function. Air, I needed air, I needed...

Blood.

I woke up in an unfamiliar bed that I instantly realized belonged to Fabian. He wasn’t there and I was glad. Because I needed to think about that stupid dream by myself. And all he’d do when I’d tell him – no, I’m definitely not telling him. He’ll frown and worry and torment me with questions.

My fear of being alone in the dark must have just gotten the better of me. And it’s understandable, really. I was losing blood, people are bound to hallucinate when they’re dizzy from blood loss, right?

But even as I told myself that I couldn’t stop thinking how my stupid hallucination had felt so terribly much like a real live memory.

the 22^nd of October, 2010

FABIAN

Of course you’re an idiot, Fabian. Of course you couldn’t just have stopped after you were full, you stupid vampire. And of course she fainted from the blood loss.

But even as I blamed myself like this all night, I knew I couldn’t have stopped. Laila’s blood was electrifying, it was... inhuman, actually. And now, that’s impossible. You can see from a mile away just how human she is.

Even so, in all my decades I have never tasted anything like it. Besides healing me instantly, I also felt a surge of power. Vampire power I’ve only witnessed in Gabriel. How do I know for sure? Well, I went down to the grocery store to buy Laila some protein and forgot my wallet. It wasn’t until I told the angry cashier to follow some anger management classes that I found out what Laila’s blood had did to me. The cashier was so delighted with my idea, he just took off, quit his job and headed for the Clinique immediately.

So it’s true. I can hypnotize humans now.

LAILA

“Are you sure you’re alright?” Emily was shrieking at the end of the other line.

“Jeez, Em, if I had a mother, you’d sound just like her.” I laughed at her. “Relax, nothing happened after you two left. Gabriel likes to play pranks on hu- people, that’s all.” Oops, almost said humans. Spending too much time with the vampires, Laila? Neah.

“O...kay”, she finally resigned. “Listen, I have something to tell you that I’m worried about. It’s Will, he’s been having... migraines.”

“Migraines? Did he go see a doctor?”

“It’s not like that. I don’t know how to explain this. Can you please come by tomorrow? I’ll text you the address. And please come alone. No more strange neighbors.”

I finished talking with Emily on the phone and climbed out of bed. I found Fabian at the coffee table in his living room, gazing out the window. It was raining outside.

“Is it okay for you to be doing nothing?” He just ignored me like I thought he will. “I’m going to take a shower and change clothes. How do you think I should dress? Casual? Elegant? Casual-elegant?” Oh, that drew his attention.

“What the hell are you talking about?”

“I’m coming with you, of course.”

Vampires Suck (9)

2010-11-22T03:53:00.000-08:00

LAILA

I have a bad feeling about this. Fabian’s a vampire and vampires don’t just go on screaming every time they see a cockroach or something. This has danger written all over it.

But I can’t just sit here. Plus, Will’s already at the door. Brave man.

To my biggest surprise and horror, when we knocked on Fabian’s door, Gabriel was the one to answer it.

EMILY

I was just about to complain about how nosy people usually get killed or kidnapped and then killed in situations like these, when a tall figure appeared at the next-door apartment. A handsome, no, beautiful man was looking down on us.

“You’re an angel.” I found myself saying. I couldn’t have said that out loud. There’s no way my lips where moving to form such idiotic words. A rich laughter followed them.

“I share names with Gabriel, the Angel of Death. And you, my dear?” He brought my hand to his mouth and was about to kiss it when Laila and Will both pulled me away at the same time. Talk about synchronizing.

“Where’s Fabian? I’d like to have a word with him.” Laila’s voice was obviously strained.

“He’s taking a nap.”

“But we heard...” Will started interrupting the blonde man, but then he stopped in mid-sentence. I could see the tension build up in his shoulders. Was I missing something?

“Oh, that was me. I like it rough.” Gabriel flashed a perfect set of incredible white teeth while watching my brother’s shocked face. Laila stifled a laugh. But then she immediately became alert again.

“All right, enough with the jokes, let us in.”

“You”, Gabriel licked his lips as he eyed Laila, “can come, the other two accessories will unfortunately have to leave us.”

I looked at Will, afraid he might pick a fight with this handsome idiot. But he was utterly calm, his face set in a very pleasant smile.

I knew my eyes must have look abnormally big when I turned to meet Laila’s. She seemed to have noticed Will’s lack of response too. It panicked her even more than it did me.

Gabriel took one step closer and whispered one word to me. “Go.”

The next thing I knew, I was running hand in hand with Will.

LAILA

Gabriel moved aside to let me enter, at the same time managing to remain behind me.

“I know what you’re thinking - thank God those two left. Now the mean big vampire won’t have to play with their weak minds anymore.” He recited all this sounding strangely enough like me.

“Those are my friends, they are not your puppets, Gabriel.” Sweet rage, how good it felt to have it replace all the fear. But I knew that nothing I would say could stop him. And that just served to make me angrier.

And then I saw Fabian. All the anger in the world couldn’t have accounted for the angst I was chocking on now. He lay on the floor utterly still, with his face down and bruises all over his body. But these bruises weren’t the normal shade of purple and yellow, they were pitch black, as if holes had been drilled into his skin.

“Why? Why Fabian?” I gasped, fighting back the tears. ”Why do this to him? Just to prove you’re the bad-ass vampire on the block?” I dropped on my feet and gently cradled the unmoving body in my arms.

“But I am the bad-ass vampire, so that’s irrelevant. Now that you know what we are, try to understand this, Laila. If vampires are real, so are other things, more dangerous things.”

I frowned. “What could be more dangerous than you?”

“I’m flattered, I assure you, but it is just so typical of humans to believe only in what you see.”

“You’re not making any sense.”

“Perhaps I’ve deviated a bit. Let’s put that discussion on hold for a while. You see, I need Fabian for something. And in order to make him cooperate, given his most stubborn attitude, I must take otherwise unnecessary measures. I’ve watched him from afar for the past few decades and thought hard before I decided there was no one else who could help me.”

“And you couldn’t just have asked him nicely?” My question sounded stupid and infantile even to me.

“I forget how young you are sometimes. But don’t you see? Fabian is a vampire with his morals intact. How many humans can you say that about?”

“So you tried to... corrupt him?”

“At first, yes. That was when I invited him to my parties. For a vampire, he is dreadfully... good.”

“I don’t get it, he said most vampires are even more normal than us.” Gabriel looked at me as if I just couldn’t see the point he was making.

“Normal, yes. But not good, never good. Fabian may seem hostile, but he always helps the innocent. Other vamps, me included, don’t care about the innocent. If we do not contribute to their suffering, we mainly ignore it – and that’s evil too.”

“So you’re saying he’s too God damned noble to agree to your plans?”

“Yes, but then I thought of something else.”

“What?”

“You.” Me? I don’t think I was glad of being one of Gabriel’s thoughts. “I realized this side of him was even more useful to me because of you.”

“Wha-?”

“You are too slow, Laila. You must have realized by now what I was about to do to you at the party. And when I tried, Fabian reacted just as I suspected he would. But still, a little lesson like this wouldn’t do him any harm.”

“Wouldn’t do him any harm? Are you demented? He’s not even moving!”

“We don’t breathe. We’re supposed not to move.”

“You idiot, that’s not what I –“

I stopped talking as I felt the stirring in my arms.

WILL

“Emily, stop! STOP!” Em stopped running and was now panting insanely. She was never the athlete of the family, that was my role.

“Em, refresh my memory here. We were...”

“With Laila...”

“...and her creepy neighbors.”

“Oh!” Emily was blushing a deep shade of red now.

“That’s right! You were oh-ing over that Gabe guy.” I could kill the prick.

“Gabriel, not Gabe.”

“There was screaming. Who was screaming?” My head started to ache. “And when did we leave?” The pain became as sharp as needles. The memory of a low voice whispering in my mind came back – be a good boy, William.

FABIAN

You’d think that after being that badly injured, people would treat you with some consideration. Even healing at a rapid rate, she was just too much.

“Are you okay? Does it hurt? Can you sit up?” When I didn’t answered, Laila frowned. “Can you talk?”

I rose up and just then realized she had been holding me. Cradling me, actually. Like I were some fragile thing that might break. Ha.

But I did feel weak. But mostly I felt anger and...

“You’re looking good. Rather lively, really.” Gabriel teased.

“Enough.” I could see how surprised the blonde vampire was by the menace in my voice. “Enough.” I said again.

“Then, by all means, let’s get down to business. I trust you’ve heard enough to...”

“Wait, you were awake?” Laila shouted in my direction, but Gabriel continued as if she had merely whispered a question.

“...understand my reasons. Any last minute details you’re interested in?”

I sat down on the coach and studied the carpet for a while. Such an elaborate design, old and complicated. It reminded me of a particular someone.

“Why can it only be me? Is it just because of my oh-so-noble sense of being?” I added mockingly.

“If I said yes, would you take me for a fool?”

“You are a fool.”

“I need a wonderer of the night I can trust. And you, Fabian, as much as you might dislike it, are very much trust worthy.”

“Wonderer of the night, very poetic.” The still indignant Laila rolled her eyes at us.

“I’m sorry, but we don’t have time for your bickering.” I snapped at her. Unfortunately, my wounds weren’t getting any better, so my sentence was abruptly finished when a gush of air came through my gritted teeth.

“I saw that.”

I ignored that.

“I hate to interrupt your lover’s spat, but frankly I’m bored and when I get bored I get creative.” Gabriel eyed Laila as if she were the main course at dinner, but then he finally settled his eyes on me again. “Come tomorrow at this address and I shall explain it all.” He reached out for the block of notes on my table and wrote something in a hurry. “No more schemes, this I promise you. I’ll be having some other guests, some... associates of mine, one could say.” He was heading for the door, when he took one last look at me and taunted. “I recommend a good feeding before coming.”

A flash of gold and he was gone. I heard Laila whispering under her breath “fast”, but then all I could think about was one word Gabriel had uttered – feeding.

Vampires Suck (8)

2010-11-06T13:28:00.000-07:00

the 20^th of October, 2010

LAILA

I know I should be more concerned about Fabian and Gabriel being both vampires, but it’s like I always knew things like that were possible. I’ve always been fascinated with Horror stories that spoke of the creatures of the night. Mum would always frown when I would ask her to read them to me as a little girl.

So, reviewing the situation. My neighbor is a vampire. Comparing him to Gabriel, he is also a very young one, with no special powers. On the other hand, Gabriel is powerful and bored. That just can’t be a good combination.

My skin was slightly cold. The wind caressed the free strands of my hair as I was looking into the night. It was as peaceful as a graveyard, I thought and chuckled at my own dark humor.

I felt a jolt of fear and I was suddenly aware that Fabian was there. In that building with such antique architecture, with me hanging out the window and him on the balcony, it would have almost been romantic.

“I’ve been meaning to ask you something” he said, smiling that devilish smile of his. But I could tell he was serious judging by the way his eyes glowed in the dark.

“Go ahead.”

“Don’t you feel...” and he seemed to be searching for a word, “I mean, when you’re around me, don’t you feel...”

“Pissed? Rejected? Frightened? All the above at once?” He blinked at me in surprise. And then he laughed.

“Okay, so I assume it’s some sort of creepy vampire trick. Explain.” I heard the demand in my own tone and was proud of it. You go, girl.

“It’s not a trick, it’s a natural defense. But what I’m really interested in is how it affects you. Normally, with my vampire shield at its full capacity, people stay the hell out of my way.” Now he was acting frustrated. “But you, you act like it’s not even there.”

“You can stop with the glaring already. It does bother me. But most of the time, it’s just a shadow of an emotion.” I paused for a second to lick my lips. “And if I think about it now, I can’t feel anything.”

“I’ve never met a human being capable of – ... ignoring it.” I couldn’t decide if it was admiration or dread I felt in his voice.

“You’re saying it isn’t possible? At all?” He shook his head lightly. I tried thinking how I felt about the whole thing. So I couldn’t sense the vampire alarm. That seemed irresponsible and could be a threat to my well being, but it didn’t make me any less normal. Or so I thought.

“This shield or whatever, is it permanently active?”

“For some, yes. For instance, I can only tune it down a bit.”

“So you can’t just switch it off?”

“You can switch it off, but the requirements are quite high.” Fabian actually managed to look like a teenager who has having the sex-talk with his parents. I let my face show him that I didn’t know what he was talking about. “You’d have to have blood from a living donor. And I guess Gabriel’s getting plenty of that.”

“Oh. Fresh blood, then.”

“Yeah.”

“This is getting just a little bit awkward...”

We both laughed nervously. As awkward is it might have been, it still felt nice. For the first time since I had been forced to leave home, I felt like I belonged there, sharing Fabian’s secret.

the 21^st of October, 2010

WILL & EMILY

“Do you think this is it, sis?” The voice belonged to a young man named Will. He was neither small nor tall, yet you could tell he didn’t quite blend in with the ordinary crowd. His face was tanned, framed by short chocolate curls. He also had eyes that matched them perfectly. And all those designer clothes still couldn’t cover up a very well worked-out body.

“Could be. But it is just so... not befitting of her.” The small girl sighed. She was all but her brother’s female version – except her hair was long and her constitution was more fragile.

The two of them were in the hallway of a very modest and old apartment building. As impeccably dressed as they were, the door man even asked them if they had the wrong address.

“No, this is it.” Will had answered visibly disappointed.

LAILA

What gives?? It’s only 10 thirty in the morning. Why would anyone want to wake people up at this hour?

I was dragging my feat to answer the door and...

“Oh, my GOD! Em, it’s really you!” A mass of shinny curls got in my face as I hugged the shorter girl. Someone cleared his throat.

“William!” I tried imitating that thing with the check-pinching that aunts always do on television. “My, my, you’ve grown, haven’t you?”

“Cut the crap.” Will laughed and hugged me too.

“I’m... I’m shocked, that’s right. How, I mean, when... Oh, hell. How come you guys are here? I thought you were taking a break and not applying to the world’s greatest universities so you can travel. And where in God’s name did you learn to speak Romanian?”

“Oh, breathe, would ya?” Will guided me into my own living room. “Having money coming out of our asses gets you pretty excellent tutors.”

“And we did it so we could see you. Of course we told our parents it was all for the sake of education – that’s how we got ourselves started on the language anyway.” Emily took my hand in hers and I smiled.

“Yeah, and besides the money, we’re both diabolical masterminds, forgot? Speaking of which, could we please buy you a new place?”

“What?” I snapped at Will. “Uh-huh. You are most definitely not...”

“But Laila, this place looks like a rat could show up any time in the middle of the room.”

“Em, you cannot be serious.” I omitted telling my friends that an actual rat did appear in my bathroom. “Besides, I like this place the way it is. It’s a place of my own and you coming here like this, offering to buy me a new place, is just insulting.”

“Laila, we didn’t mean it that way and you know it.”

“I know, Will. I’m sorry, I just... you guys came all the way here, of all places...”

“Hey, the rich get bored.”

I laughed and then looked at the only two people who cared enough about me to have done what they had done. “Thank you, but you’re crazy, you know that? And stop laughing when I’m crying!” Of course that only made them laugh harder. Rich bastards.

Someone was at the door again. I say someone, though I knew it was Fabian.

“You skipped class again.” He said in that scolding tone of his.

“I overslept. We talked till late last night and I don’t cope that well without a solid eight-hour sleep.”

I heard a whistle from behind me and had to stifle a laugh at Fabian’s expression.

“Emily, Will, this is Fabian - my neighbor. We’re also at the same University. Fabian, these are the Evil Twins, my friends from NY.”

Emily practically jumped of the couch into the hall. “Now I see why you won’t move.” I gave her a nudge in the ribs and she cried out an exaggerated aww.

“This is... fun, but I have to be somewhere.” Sure you have, I thought. Fabian barely glanced at any of us as he closed the door behind him.

“Great manners.” Will smirked.

“Shut up.” I said.

FABIAN

More humans. Ugh.

At least I can spend some quality time with myself at my apartment. No one there. Yes, sir. Quiet as a morgue. Dark and cozy and... not empty?

GABRIEL

Fabian’s expressions are absolutely delicious. Every time he sees me he has this pained one, like someone just hit him in the parts that don’t see the light of day much.

I must admit, though this entire place lacks taste, this couch is very comfortable. Ups, forgot to take my shoes off. Better take them off, this vampire seems ready to spank me for my disobedience.

“Long time no bite, you cute nerd.” Ah, he flinched. So funny.

“How did you get in here?” Seriously, nerds can be stupid too. I raised one eyebrow. “Never mind. What do you want?”

“Must I really be in need for something? Can’t I just visit an old friend?”

“I knew you were ignorant, but a fraud too? Gabriel, you disappoint me.”

“Now that wasn’t nice, was it?”

FABIAN

Gabriel sat up really, really slow. He’s pretending to be harmless again. Those empty eyes fixated on me. So intently staring at me, what the...

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGH!

No, I can’t...

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARG!

Burning. I can feel my flesh burning.

GABRIEL

Poor little arrogant Fabian. I’m afraid I must have gone a bit too far with the whole eye-pain-inflicting thing.

I can hear voices and footsteps. Dearest Laila, she must be concerned what all the screaming was about. But she’s not alone. Oh, goodie, more toys.

Vampires Suck (7)

2010-11-01T04:58:00.000-07:00

LAILA

WHAT.THE.HELL.WAS.THAT.

These were the words that were ringing over and over in my head as Fabian was speeding home. I didn’t even bother to tell him to slow down. I needed the speed, the rush it brought. My breath was coming fast. I gripped my purse until my knuckles turned white. And then I started processing.

Yes, the party had been weird. But what had shocked me was Gabriel himself. You could see it in his eyes – how comfortable he was in that atmosphere, seeming more like a perverted royal pain-in-the-ass than ever. And then that rage, that vicious smile he was addressing me and Fabian, the way he touched me... I swear, I start shivering only when I think of it.

The phrase was never more true to me. And in all this, who had been my knight in shining shoes? The dazzling Fabian. I not only feel he stood by me, but that he also rescued me. I just can’t shake the feeling that there was something completely unrelated to Gabriel’s words that was going to happen. Because in those brief minutes we were all standing in his room I had been terrified. But that couldn’t be right.

I risked a quick glance at Fabian as I was opening my door. There was something in the way he held himself – his posture was different. It was almost a battle stance.

“I’m sorry you had to see that” he said in a husky voice, one I’d never heard before. “If it’s of any help, I had no idea he was like that.” I thought I saw a flash of fear in those misty eyes.

“Well, for once, it’s not your fault things went bad.” Who’s to say I’d lose my sense of humor even when in shock?

The corners of his mouth wavered a bit. For the first time since I moved in, I forgot all about the creepy sensation his presence gave me and saw what I think is the real Fabian. Not the one who always avoids having contact with other people at college, but the one who is deeply ironic and yet at the same time, charming in a dark and mysterious way.

“It’s getting late. You should go inside.”

“Yeah.” I twisted the door knob and went into the apartment, feeling ever so slightly dazed by the fact that only one wall separated us. A paper thin wall, I mused and for a second I froze. He lived there. He had been living there before I came here. He had annoyed me from the very beginning. So, why did it bother me now?

But thoughts of the crazy night at Gabriel’s party wielded back in and I forgot all about that unanswered question. I remembered the two men saying something about people being hypnotized. When nobody had answered me when I’d asked about it, I had thought my imagination was playing tricks on me. But as I was unzipping my leather boots, my mind clear of anything, I realized I hadn’t imagined it. Fabian’s statement was ringing crystal clear in my mind.

the 19^th of October, 2010

FABIAN

I decided to skip class today. It’s not like I haven’t majored in literature six times by now. But the reason I did it for is not this. I needed to think some more.

And in order to think I needed to be away from a certain girl and a certain vampire.

Yesterday, Gabriel acted like his usual pretend-to-be-a-rock-star self. No word about our little altercation. The girls from the party were all normal now and resumed their daily routine of tailing Gabriel everywhere.

Laila on the other hand had mostly avoided him. But she was very careful not to make too much of a show of it. Every time the giggling sounds announced his presence, she would graciously go somewhere else.

As I entered the library, I felt a wave of relief at its sight. It was completely empty expect for the old lady at the counter.

I went way in the back of it and started walking between endless bookshelves.

I suspected what theory Gabriel had tested. He had been fairly obvious about it. He’d wanted to see if I would protect Laila or I’d just surrender her to the sharks. But all that show just for that?

My fingers traced the dusty old books in the Horror section. The dust lifted and I stopped with my hand on a Stephen King novel. I wasn’t actually paying any attention to it. My newest question, that shone in my mind even brighter that the other, was even more surprising than the turn of events at Gabriel’s party. Why hadn’t I left Laila to Gabriel? It’s none of my business what he does to the humans.

I was brought out of my trance when my fingers no longer felt the roughness of the book’s cover.

From the other side of the bookshelf, a pair of green eyes was peering at me. If I hadn’t known better, I would have thought they were the knowing eyes of a vampire who’d been walking this earth for centuries.

But instead, they wrinkled at the ends. Laila was smiling.

“Do you always take books other people have already had their hands on?” I asked her quietly.

“Hello to you too. And no, I only want this book.” She waved it in front of me and I caught the title. Salem’s Lot.

“Vampires?” I almost chocked from trying not to laugh. And then she was out of my sight, hiding behind the books. After a half a minute of waiting, she was in front of me with a defiant look on her heart-shaped face.

“For your information, it happens to be a great book.”

“Oh, so you’ve read it already?” I chuckled.

“You... you jerk!” she punched me in arm. The fact that I didn’t seem baffled in the slightest seemed to unnerve her even more.

“I thought you were all about fashion magazines.”

“That doesn’t mean I am as shallow as an empty shell!” She threw the words in my face. “And fashion is a form of art and expression! Not that you’d know anything about it.”

“Hell, no.” I whispered.

“What?”

“I was just saying how lucky you are the librarian is as deaf as a bat. All the unnecessary shouting...” I grinned at her bewildered expression. But the anger faded away and her face was perfectly quiet as she said:

“How did Gabriel hypnotize those girls?”

LAILA

He was staring at me with such intensity I thought he was going to make a hole in my skull. At first, I wanted to laugh at him because I’d finally caught him at a loss for words. But I knew then that I’d asked the right question.

“I don’t know...” Fabian started, but I never let him finish.

“Don’t even think about giving me the whole I-don’t-know-what-you’re-talking-about crap!”

“Laila...”

“Yes?” I said expectantly.

“This is neither the time nor place to talk about this.” His hand seemed to rebel against my demanding tone as well, ruffling his hair over and over.

“I think it’s the perfect time since we bumped into each other like this. And no one can hear us, you said yourself that the old lady can’t hear...”

“But we didn’t bump into each other coincidentally, did we?” He was leaning over me as he whispered the words. “Are you a stalker, Laila?” The irony was back. But I wouldn’t be fooled by this.

“You don’t a have a very good strategy when it comes to dodging questions. It will take more than that to make me change the subject.” I could see how much he hated me for being so stubborn. But he knew something and I was determined to find out what it was. “Tell me.” I leaned closer and he backed away. I wasn’t expecting that.

“I cannot tell you. This is not something of your concern and you’re better off not knowing, trust me.”

“I’ll be de judge of that, Fabian.” I tried to search his face for some reaction, but he had shut all his emotions down. I was left gazing into an expressionless mask. A beautiful carved mask, nevertheless.

“Come on. How bad can it be? It’s not like he’s a supernatural being.” I was babbling while playing with the cover of my book. He wasn’t going to tell me. I was sure of it.

“And what if he was one?”

My head lifted up to his instantly. What had he just said? Had I heard right? But the question was there, floating in the air between us, almost tangible. And then, he suddenly pushed me against the bookshelf. A few books fell and I just couldn’t find my voice.

“I said, what if he was one?” He whispered in my ear. He was so close our bodies were almost touching. I wished I could find a way to shove him away, but my brain only focused on what he said. “What if I were to tell you that I’m one too?”

I felt like a bird trapped in a cage. His hands were on either side of me and his face was all I could see. My heart was pounding like it wanted to burst out of my chest. I knew he was telling me the truth. Not because it was so incredibly plausible, that’s for sure. But I knew because I could feel it deep down at the core of my soul. And that truth brought the dreaded feeling back – the sensation Fabian always caused me. And now that I thought about it, Gabriel did too.

“What are you?” It was barely a whisper, but he heard it.

“Why, your friendly next-door vampire, of course.”

The thudding sound of a book falling could be heard from the Horror section. Stephen King had caught the right monster this time.

FABIAN

To say I’d been stupid to tell Laila the truth was an understatement.

No, she didn’t pass out or start screaming as I expected her to. Her reaction was even worse. She’s interested.

We’re walking down Lipscani Alley which is packed full and she’s beaming at me with an unspoken curiosity. I can sense the fear underneath as well, but for some reason she’s got it under control. Damn it, she’s supposed to be scared of me! I mean, she’s read Salem’s Lot – and the vampire king is quite frightening there.

God, if you’re out there somewhere, and if you receive requests from any vampires at all, please tell me I’m not stuck with this one!

“So you can hypnotize people too?” she asked casually.

“No, only the old ones can.”

“Oh. How old are you?”

A large group was passing us by.

“We can’t talk about this here. Come.”

I noted with a strange sense of uneasiness that she didn’t bother to ask where we were going.

Humans are stupid, so full of trusting instincts.

“Let me see. So none of the classical myths are true?” Laila was pacing in my apartment.

“No.” I had given up trying to convince her it was better for her to just forget or pretend she didn’t know but naturally she didn’t listen. I thought about threatening her with Gabriel erasing her memory, but first of all, I didn’t know if he was capable of doing it and second of all – I wasn’t going to ask him for any favors.

“I can see how sunlight has no effect whatsoever. Oh, but do you ever get a tan?”

“No.” I rolled my eyes in exasperation. “Would you give it a break already?”

“But how about... what you eat” She met my eyes while saying this and was obviously uncomfortable.

“I told you, none of the vampire stereotypes are true. We drink blood, but don’t go out hunting for victims. The blood bank is much more convenient. It’s like going to a free bar with only four drinks available.” I paused and when I saw she was opening her mouth again I went on, “we are stronger that the average Joe and can sense human feelings, but that’s it. No compelling gaze, no deadly attractiveness and no turning into bats.”

“Are you sure about the last one?”

“What? Turning into bats? Laila, this is stupid – “

“No, the other one. What I mean is that both you and Gabriel are the most attractive guys I’ve ever seen, so that one isn’t really true.” I could feel the blood rising to her face even without looking. “But anyway, I have one more. Do you have fangs?”

“Yes.” I felt relieved that her question wasn’t about whether we were vulnerable to garlic.

“Show me.” That left me blinking for a moment.

“What do you think I am? A vampire at the Zoo?”

“I didn’t say that, I’m just curious.”

“Well, curiosity killed the cat. That’s enough for one day, go to your own apartment.”

Reluctantly, she headed for the door and stopped in front of it.

“I’m no ordinary cat. I just thought you should know that.”

Vampires Suck (6)

2010-10-23T16:20:00.000-07:00

the 16^th of October, 2010

FABIAN

I figured taking pity on myself isn’t very dignifying, so I decided to do what I do best. Keep my distance and rely on my vampire shield. The fact that I have to go to Gabriel’s stupid party is troublesome, but the sooner I get it over with the better.

Now there’s only one minor detail left.

LAILA

Purse. Check. Keys. Check. Mirror reflection all right. Check.

He’s here. Just on time.

FABIAN

What is she staring at?

LAILA

Black shirt. Check. Faded jeans. Check. Leather jacket. Check. Impossibly gorgeous eyes. Check. Deadly smile. Check.

Oh, my God. Check.

After 2 minutes of gawking, I was fully recovered. That was, of course, until he took me down stairs to his car. The most incredible car ever – I have no idea what kind, but it looked good. I didn’t even know he had one.

Actually, I didn’t even know he knew how to dress up. I mean, he’s handsome all by himself, that I could tell. But tonight, he is especially attractive. There’s something about him – a sensual power that I never noticed. Of course, the usual sense of rejection is there, but it’s a lot more faded than all the previous times.

The street lights frame his figure just right. He’s opening the door for me. So he can be a gentleman when he wants.

But as soon as we were in the car, the spell broke. I tried making some small talk but his face was as impassible as ever. Yet, that seemed to attract me even more. What is wrong with me?

FABIAN

I’d like to ask mister-perfect-Edward-Cullen how he copped with girls like Laila. She seems to be... in a dreamlike state. Not that that doesn’t add to her personal appeal. She’s wearing this tight black dress with high leather boots. Ironically, we match quite well.

What am I talking about? Matching clothes? The blood I drunk must have been rotten.

I parked just near Gabriel’s apartment complex. It was easy to find it since the music could be heard all the way down the block. This vampire sure likes to attract attention. But then again, I already knew that.

LAILA

So his apartment is actually a penthouse. That’s nice. And surprising. Don’t see many of those in this city, you know. Oh, but Gabriel’s music tastes are as awfull as Fabian’s.

FABIAN

I think Laila and I just entered the Twilight zone – or should I say, the Gabriel zone. This place looks like a strip club from hell. The majority of people are girls, as I suspected. What good could one of Gabriel’s parties do without his fan club?

But there’s something different about them this time. No squeaking. No fainting. Not even a little bit of giggling. No, the atmosphere seems to be electrically charged somehow. And… I can sense an intense hunger.

Yes, hunger.

But for what?

As I walked through the various crouds with Laila by my side, I noticed they were all looking our way. The hunger in their eyes intensified. But I just couldn’t place it. No, there weren’t any vampires here besides myself, but the need I felt building up in the air was as great as bloodlust.

And then we reached the living room. Here people were moving all around as if caressing the air with their bodies. They’re dancing, my mind told me. But I kept thinking of some sort of obscene ritual. And then I knew what they were hungry for – pleasure. Primal pleasure and nothing else.

I could see Laila out of the corner of my eye and saw her expression almost exactly mirrored my own bewilderment.

LAILA

Oh, my God, I’ve landed in Slutville.

When Gabriel invited me and Fabian, I was expecting some sort of elaborate tea party. Not in a hundred years could I have guessed he was planning to run for best-orgy-of-the-year!

The air is sickeningly sweet. Everywhere I turn, I’m being looked at from head to toe.

“Are they checking me out?” I asked Fabian when I couldn’t take it anymore.

“They’re ckecking us out. And that implies you, as well.”

“But they’re girls!” I started to freak out when a hand grabbed me from behind and I shrieked. Fabian pulled my hand and led me towards a long corridor. At that moment, I couldn’t care less where he was taking me if that meant we were far away from those harassing chicks.

By the time I finished mentally cursing them, Fabian had led me into an empty room. Or so I thought it was until I heard a soft moan.

FABIAN

“Gabriel, what is this? You’d better explain yourself.” My voice was thick with anger and I could feel Laila cringe from the sound of it.

The bed’s curtains moved slightly as a lazy voice purred.

“Do you mind? I’m not finished yet.”

“YES, I DO MIND!” I shouted, not being able to contain my fury any longer. Probably Gabriel picked up on that and I heard him say “We’ll continue this later, darling.”

As the naked girl eased out of the bed, I looked at Laila. She was flushed with embarrassment and indignation and refused to look at anybody.

The blonde vampire finally spoke again after covering himself with a silk robe. He’d done that for Laila’s sake, not mine.

“It is rude to interrupt one while he is having a good time, Fabian.”

“The hell it is. What’s this party supposed to be anyway? Because whatever it is, I sure don’t want to be a part of it.” I started turning for the door.

But Gabriel was at my throat in an instant. “You should learn your manners.” Laila gasped in shock. Gabriel’s fingers were digging in my skin.

“You’re one to talk.” I tried to pry them loose, but it was like some impossible force was in them. Gabriel smiled as he saw the realization I’d come to.

“Yes, my boy, I am far more experienced than you.” And then, as abruptly as he had caught me, he let go. “And all this time you thought you could avoid me… IGNORE me as if I were merely an annoying fly.” Gabriel was heading towards Laila. She had turned pale now and her white skin seemed almost translucent against her black clothes. She could sense the danger too.

“But we didn’t ignore you, Gabriel. We’re here now.” Laila mumbled.

“True. But you do not like my party.” He was stroking her cheek now and she flinched.

“What’s there to like? You’ve… you’ve hypnotized all of them.” Even as the words left my mouth, I knew they were true. The look in Gabriel’s eyes – the hunger you could see in them – I’d already seen it.

“Hypnotized?” Laila frowned. “Uhm…”

That is a suitable reaction, I said to myself. And then I stared at Gabriel, speechless. How old did he had to be to be able to hypnotize humans? Very, very old, that’s for sure.

It now occurred to me that he was right. I’d never treated him as anything remotely worthwhile of my attention. We had met in 1953 when the communism had been successfully installed in Romania. I’d always thought he was the same age in vampire years as I was. But that was his doing, of course. He’d been concealing his strength and abilities. But – for what purpose? He’d been pestering me every ten years or so ever since.

Gabriel was certainly delighted to have found a new toy. He circled Laila like a predator and then from behind he touched her chin lightly. Or so it would have seemed to the average man. But I knew the deadly hold he had on her. And judging from Laila’s wide-eyed expression, she knew that as well.

“Gabriel, if this is a joke, you’ve gone far enough. Damn, it’s hilarious! You’re an artist when it comes to pranks!” I was forcing myself into talking nonsense in order to distract him from the delicious blood Laila was showing in her veins.

“But Fabian”, he paused slightly as if the whole discussion was being directed – “you two are just too fun to tease.”

“So you keep saying. Your repertoire has gone old.” My voice sounded as arrogant as I felt. “Even so, if you do something rash this instant, I shall tear you apart, experience included or not.” And as if to prove my point, I flashed just a hint of fang. A gesture I knew Gabriel would see, but not Laila. In the end, the retort I was expecting never came.

Instead, Gabriel looked pleased and for the second time this night, he surprised me giving Laila a quick kiss on the neck and then releasing her.

“You may be dismissed.” He waved us off.

“We may be dismissed? What are you – some whimsical prince?” Laila had finally found her voice. She was shaking and I noted that it was from anger, not from fear. I had to give her credit for that.

“Not at all, my darling Laila. But I have now confirmed a theory of mine and your presence is no longer needed.” He eyed me in a conspirator’s manner. “Nevertheless, you should know that these parties are one of my unique pleasures. I do not wish to hide this side of me from you. I hope that you too will one day share my point of view, Fabian.” he concluded while staring out the window.

“Fuck you”, I said the words at the exact time as Laila.

We were already outside the room when Gabriel’s forbidden laughter started and an echo resonated in the living room – “yes, please”. And then some more laughter.

Vampires Suck (5)

2010-10-17T04:54:00.000-07:00

FABIAN

Blog entry #3

Title: Seeking ageless wisdom

Listening to: Nirvana – Come as you are

“Do you think age will make you wiser?

People often believe in the illusion of gathering experience.

It helps – sometimes.

But most of the times, our mistakes are new. Even when they seem to repeat themselves, they are always fresh because of our naivety, always making us look like fools, regardless of our age.

For some of us, that wisdom never comes. And so, we are stuck in a mistaken moment of our foolish lives.

But perhaps, with age, we’ll come to think differently about...

WHAT THE-

The electricity’s out. So much for living in the 21^st century. Where did I put the damned candles?

BANG!

And the lighter?

BANG! BANG! BANG!

Who the hell is trying to demolish my door??

I couldn’t sense any menacing threat. It was human. Its feelings were also very jumbled. I opened the door and a little figure enveloped in darkness tackled me. While falling, I still could not figure out how to react. Some vampire I am.

Finally, the coolness of the floor awoke me from my surprise.

On top of me lay a very fragile girl who sniffed and hiccupped simultaneously.

“I’m afraid... hic... of the dark...” Laila gripped my T-shirt more tightly. After a few seconds, I sensed a funny smell.

“Laila, have you been drinking?”

She sat up abruptly which only cause her to stumble. Her eyes seemed out of focus as she tried to intimidate me by looking me straight in the face.

“Oh, mighty Fabian, I for-hic-got about your morals.”

I have to admit, I was biting my lower lip in order to prevent myself from laughing. Yes, laughing would only make it worse.

“Would you mind getting off of me?” I then asked.

“No.”

“Laila...”

“I’m scared.” she stubbornly added. There was another hiccup after this. How could a girl her age get drunk like that?

“Why are you afraid of the dark? There’s nothing...” But as soon as I saw her expression, I stopped. Such enormous fear.

“Laila...”

And then she did the most unexpected thing. She bent down and kissed me.

I could feel the heat radiating from her lips, the sweet softness they brought upon my mouth. I was stunned.

But my instincts weren’t. I started feeling the familiar ache. My fangs were itching to come out, my thirst rising with each second like hot boiling water.

NO – I pulled from her grasp and tried to look away from those green eyes. I knew they would be hurt, but I couldn’t think of her pride now. Keeping her alive seemed more appropriate. But instead of reproachful words, she collapsed on my chest. After taking a few deep breathes, I trusted myself to look at her. Sure enough, she was sleeping sound.

the 6^th of October, 2010

LAILA

Ugh, my head hurts. No, *hurt* is a mild term. Every time I try to remember how I ended up in my bed last night I feel a stabbing pain.

I have to remember. I feel like my life depends on it. Well, maybe not exactly that dramatic, but still – I WANT to remember.

Retracing my steps one more time.

1. I went out to buy some alcohol from the supermarket

2. I came back and started drinking what I had just purchased

3. the lights went out

And that’s when my mind goes blank too.

ARGHHHHHHH, HOW FRUSRATING!

the 11^th of October, 2010

FABIAN

She hasn’t said a word to me ever since. She barely glances my way when we’re in class. She acts as if it never HAPPENED. I can’t feel a single wave of anger or distress from her when we pass each other in the halls.

She’s acting normal. Or as normal as Laila can get. And that is precisely why her behavior is wrong. She has to REACT to... it somehow, doesn’t she?

At this point, I couldn’t even bring myself to believe what I was doing. It was like a dream – a nasty dream in which I had joined Gabriel and his fan club in the courtyard.

Surrounded on either side, Gabriel was sitting on a bench and could barely contain his surprise as he saw me coming. He ushered the girls away quickly and settled more comfortably, looking at me with a sly smile. If I weren’t already dead, I’d say this was how selling your soul to devil feels like.

“I can’t believe I’m doing this”, I repeated to myself and sat down defeated. Gabriel’s smile was getting wider and wider. And more wicked too.

“I take it you are here for advice.” he lightly said.

“Wha-? Are you a witch or a vampire? How did you know that?”

“Centuries of studying these petty human beings’ facial expressions. And I’ve got to hand it to you, that hunched walk you’re managing is obvious from a mile away.”

“I’ll pretend that made sense and you’re actually in position of giving me advice.” I then went on in a hurried voice “let’s say a person kisses another person and then pretends it never happened...”

“You mean you kissed Laila and now she’s ignoring you.” Gabriel interrupted me in a flat tone.

“No! I mean, yes, only it’s the other way around. And she’s ignored me before, but...” I couldn’t find my words fast enough, damn it.

“But this is different.” Gabriel mused “so she kissed you. Any circumstantial details you’d like to share?”

“Well, I think she was drunk.” I sighed.

“Drunk?? Our cute and fragile Laila? You must have been hallucinating.” Gabriel literally humpf-ed at me. “why would she let herself fall in such a depriving state for a young lady?”

“You tell me, you’re the stupid expert on women’s way of thinking!”

I was feeling like a complete idiot. Of course Gabriel couldn’t be serious even for one minute. What did it matter anyway? But as I was about to leave, Laila appeared in front of us.

LAILA

I’d never seen Fabian so uncomfortable. I only wanted to ask him if he knew why our electricity pane was so old. As for Gabriel – he was his usual incomprehensible self. He kept pushing for details from the night when the electricity fell.

“And what did you do by yourself all alone in the dark?” Gabriel asked teasingly. I felt the heat creep in my face. I couldn’t possibly admit I didn’t remember.

“I went to bed.” I answered in a quiet voice.

“No kissing before bed time?” Gabriel pushed. Fabian glanced at him. I noted that Fabian looked positively frightened.

“No, no kissing.” I laughed. This person is always so exuberant. He must have really been joking.

“That’s a pity, darling.” but as Gabriel said this he was eyeing the dark-haired man next to him. Then his face lit up like a child’s. “I just remembered! I’m having another one of my parties – Fabian, I’ve told you – and it would be wonderful if you two could come.”

Fabian started to protest, but he was suddenly cut off. “You should definitely come.”

There was no room for a refusal there. But even so, I felt a jolt of eagerness at those words. I hadn’t been to a party in some time. Time to wipe the dust off my dancing shoes.

Fabian didn’t seem too pleased though.

GABRIEL

“Come on, there’s no need for such a face. You look like your aunt just died. Well, supposing you had one that was still alive.”

“I’m not coming.” Fabian said through gritted teeth. His eyes seemed to reflect an angry sea.

“Now, now, don’t bite. If you won’t come willingly, I’ll just have to tell little Laila what she obviously doesn’t remember.” This was sure to convince him, I thought.

“You wouldn’t dare.”

“Try me.” I gave him my most grave expression. The realization seemed to dawn on him.

“Fine. I just don’t understand what you’re up to, Gabriel.” Fabian sat up and left. He was angry, all right.

“It’s for my own amusement, of course.”

the 15^th of October, 2010

LAILA

nowhere_girl has added hot_fangs to her list of friends

hot_fangs: tomorrow night, 9 o’clock

hot_fangs: wear something pretty :-)

nowhere_girl: I always dress pretty!!!

nowhere_girl: hey, wait

nowhere_girl: I don’t know where you live

hot_fangs: oh, don’t worry

hot_fangs: Fabian will escort you

hot_fangs is now offline

nowhere_girl: no waaay

Vampires Suck (4)

2010-10-10T08:59:00.000-07:00

the 24^th of September, 2010

LAILA

“Laila, it’s me, your father. Stop rolling your eyes and listen to me. I was forced to run away – where to or why I cannot tell you in this letter because it might get intercepted.

I just wanted you to know that I promise I’ll be back for you. And that will be before I go completely bald, okay?

Take care of yourself. If not for me, for your mother at least.”

Touching. I’ll just go wallow in self pity now.

FABIAN

It’s almost midnight. I don’t have to look at the clock to know that. I just know. Or should I say – my vampire self is aware of it. This city is so quiet around this hour. Quiet, yet it speaks to me. It calls to me. Or is it the night itself that does so? I tend to think both. There is something about this worn-out place –

I just heard something from Laila’s apartment. Sort of a scream. How many rats can there be in one building?

Again.

Something is wrong. I can sense...

LAILA

...DESPAIR.

Where am I?

A place with endless walls, all painted in black.

I realized I was shouting, but there was no echo to it. No, there was no sound at all. My voice only exists in my head.

I need to get out. I need to break free.

It feels as if I’ve been running for a very long time. But this place never ends, the walls never change, the darkness just gets deeper...

And then there was nothing but pain.

PAIN.

Why does it hurt so bad? Oh, my God, I’ve never felt so thorn apart! Why is this happening? My soul feels like it’s being twisted over and over again.

And then, I couldn’t breathe anymore.

“Wake up...” I could hear a very faint voice in the dark.

“Laila! Can you hear me?” the voice started getting louder.

“WAKE UP!”

I woke up to Fabian’s worried face. His hair was all messed up and he was panting. His eyes held a strange intensity. He was sitting on the side of my bed, with his shirt unbuttoned, cradling me like a new-born.

Wait a minute.

“Let go of me!” I almost fell out of bed trying to release myself from his cold embrace. Cold? No, I must be feverish.

“What the hell are you doing in my bedroom? How did you get in?” I then started to mentally curse myself for forgetting to lock the door, when he lifted one hand and pointed at the window.

“Through there. My balcony is next to your window.” He said so matter-of-factly. It was as if he were telling me that tomorrow’s chances of rain are high.

“W-what??” I managed. Sure enough, the window was open and we were only on the 2^nd floor, but it was outrageous!

“Have you gone completely nuts, mister??”

“If you question my sanity, the answer is quite vague. But I would fear yours is in more trouble than mine is, since you were having such a strong nightmare. Has this happened before?”

“You are unbelievable! First you break into my home and now you’re the one ASKING me questions?”

“You should seriously consider telling someone about those nightmares...”

“What nightmares? Not that it matters, but this is the first time I had one this strange. But what am I telling a pervert like you for?” I raised my hands to the ceiling.

“A pervert? Look, I think you’ve got this the wrong way.” He looked quite flustered this time. Points for me.

“Oh, really! So you mind explaining to me how you got the idea of climbing through my window in the middle of the night?”

the 30^th of September, 2010

FABIAN & GABRIEL

hot_fangs@yahoo.com wants to add you as a friend.

YES NO

hot_fangs: hey, why did you refuse my invitation?

hot_fangs: seriously, who the hell is edward? WTF, are you gay??? is he your long lost love? :-)

hot_fangs: BUZZ!

edward_cant_bite: i wonder what will happen if I push the SPAM button... :-?

hot_fangs: haha

hot_fangs: you’re joking right?

hot_fangs: honestly, I don’t know why I even bother to talk to you

hot_fangs: must be because of that cute face you make when you’re angry *audible: I’m melting*

edward_cant_bite: now who’s gay? :-)

hot_fangs: who said I wasn’t?

edward_cant_bite: ah... didn’t you like women?

hot_fangs: haven’t you heard of bisexuals? man, you’re such a prude

edward_cant_bite: ah... well I’m flattered

hot_fangs: hey

edward_cant_bite: but...

hot_fangs: stop right there

hot_fangs: I’m not hitting on you

edward_cant_bite: that’s a relief

hot_fangs: your love affairs with wimpy human women are just too much fun to watch >:)

edward_cant_bite: what??

hot_fangs: I saw you at the bookstore with that laila girl

edward_cant_bite: that I can explain

hot_fangs: no need

hot_fangs: I saw the whole my-jewels-hurt scene too

hot_fangs: you know, if you need lessons about how to treat a lady, I’m always available

edward_cant_bite: fuck off

hot_fangs: just saying

hot_fangs: if you need me...

edward_cant_bite: scram

the 4^th of October, 2010

LAILA

I hate Mondays. And I hate new *beginnings*. All that nonsense about how change is good for you – I don’t buy it. It’s tiring. Having to adapt to a new place, I mean. But above all else, new people.

New faces, new attitudes. I dread those attitudes the most.

The first 30 seconds when entering a room full of unknown people are a battlefield. Yes, a bloody battlefield in which the stares are daggers and the whispers are smoke bombs. And then, when you finally reach your desk, they decide whether you’re worthy of their presence or not.

That’s all it takes. 30 seconds.

I’ve always been afraid of starting anew. That is particularly why you can imagine my loathing on the first day at the University.

The main reason was this – the students there were not people. Not even human.

They were girls.

Sure, they would be guys too, but not as many since we’re speaking of a degree in literature. Now tell me, how many of your guy friends read? I thought so.

Well, seeing how I’m constantly preoccupied with fashion magazines (and Horror books, don’t forget to mention that), you would assume I was quite the popularity queen and if not, at least one of her highness’s minions.

Wrong assumption.

So I like Louis Vuitton. And Channel. And all those other French guys whose names I can’t remember. That alone is not enough to make that species like me. Oh, how ironical that I’m a part of the same species.

For some reason, I could never quite bond with girls as well as I did with boys. Now there’s a species to be admired. Not all of them, of course. But some of the specimens are to die for.

Back to the subject. I always enjoyed male company the best. Am I a tom-boy? At heart, maybe. On the surface – hardly.

What to do? I can’t back down now. Oh yeah, that arrogant Fabian will be there. Unfortunately, he’s an-old-lady-that-lives-with-her-cats at heart.

My worst nightmare begins now.

Hope this will end quickly and without any great pains. Guy radar on.

FABIAN

I HATE MONDAYS. Especially the first Monday when courses start.

Why, you might ask. It’s quite simple. Every time I go to a new university, I have to go through the pains of making my position clear. Yes, I mind you sitting next to me. Yes, I’m ignoring you. Yes, you should just get over it. Yes, you’re damn right I’m rude and inconsiderate.

All that girly giggling and elbowing is driving me insane. Sometimes I wonder if I should just try another specialty. Literature is most appealing to the female side after all.

Anyway, Gabriel’s presence here is not of much help. He’s even worse than the girls, speaking loudly and attracting all the attention. I must remember not to associate with him during class or else I’m doomed.

Oh, Laila’s sitting in front of me. I don’t think she even noticed me. She has her headphones on. Now that’s the reaction I was looking for. Total oblivion. But does a vampire ever get what he wants? As Twilight has taught us, not if you don't sparkle.

LAILA

Wow, now that’s a first. I actually had fun today. I mean, at the end when Fabian ran for the door before Gabriel and his human tail of love-struck girls could reach him was hilarious. I was wiping tears from my eyes because of all the laughing when I noticed there were a few other girls doing the same. What do you know? I’m not the only one with decent tastes, after all.

the 5^th of October, 2010

FABIAN

“You’re getting on my nerves and I do not recommend that to anyone.”

“Oh, come on, you dork. It’s just a harmless party. Besides, you haven’t seen my new place.” Gabriel’s mocking voice was on the phone.

“Yes, and that’s top on my list of things to do tonight.” I added equally mockingly.

There was a pause.

“You have a list?”

“No, you idiot! But supposing I had one... Never mind, I’m not coming and that’s final.”

“But I was hoping you could bring your cute neighbor and we could all have a ménage-“

I hung up before he could say it.

LAILA

Huh, who knew I could get bored living by myself.

I finished all the episodes in this season’s Grey’s Anatomy.

I ate all the chocolate.

I did some Pilates so I wouldn’t feel so guilty about the chocolate.

I re-read all my old comics.

I stared out the window and tried catching a sound from next-door.

I even painted my toenails.

...................................................................................................

GOD, I’M BORED.

...................................................................................................

I need a DISTRACTION.

Vampires Suck (3)

2010-09-30T12:54:00.000-07:00

the 1^st of September, 2010

FABIAN

The first rain on the first of September. I couldn’t even begin to ask for more. Bucharest is really quite beautiful this time of the year. The old buildings seem to be more suited for this kind of weather. The coffee shop in which I’ve walked into is empty. Yes, perfection.

The door opened. A tall guy just entered, wearing a leather jacket. Oh, it’s...

GABRIEL

I can’t believe it’s been so long since I’ve come here. I don’t care what that stuck-up Fabian says. This city is old, proud and sinister, yet compelling at the same time. Kind of like him. I wonder if that’s why he finds it not at all interesting? Oh, well. How time flies. We haven’t talked to each other since the ’80s. Gotta tell you, those pants did not do us men – both human and vampire – any justice.

“Gabriel, how did you find me? Don’t misunderstand, it’s just rare of you to show up in an unknown caffe without a horde of hysterical women chasing after you.” Well, I am a very tall and athletic guy. Not to mention all the blonde hair and the flirty smile. Hey, who wouldn’t want me for dessert?

“Being a smart mouth, as always. Some things never change, I see. For your information, I just had to look for the most unpopular place in town and ta-da! Found the friend I was looking for.”

“You haven’t lost your sense of humor either.” was Fabian’s reply.

We continued in this spirited manner for a couple of hours. A vamp has got to catch up with other vamps from time to time. After all, we aren’t that many. Oh, and the ones that are as breath-taking as me are even fewer. And that’s exaggerating. About them being only a few, not about me being handsome. There might as well be none left.

Fabian tells me I am probably the only person – vampire, that actually fits the Edward description. When I asked him who the hell was this Eddie guy, he just laughed at me. Whatever, it’s not like I can be compared or anything.

Wait, who is that blonde vision that came in? Fabian seems to know her, judging by the deadly glare she is clearly addressing him.

FABIAN

Please don’t come here, please don’t.

LAILA

There’s that neighbor of mine. I guess I should thank him for fixing the door, I’m not a savage, after all.

But what is he looking all angry in my direction for? On second thought, he was the one who broke it in the first place, why should I thank him??

And honestly, are all his friends as good looking as he is?

Uh-oh. Incoming.

GABRIEL

What a funny little thing she is. It seems Fabian lives next door to her. And due to a rat-in-bathroom-door-busted-afterwards incident, they are not on very good terms right now.

She introduced herself as Laila. She claims she just moved here from America and will be attending the University. I was surprised to see Fabian dripping his coffee on his laptop.

“That’s great, then you’ll be in Fabian’s year.”

At first, she seemed unable to comprehend what I had just said. I turned my gaze towards Fabian and she caught on.

“Oh, Fabian, right. So that’s your name.” That was all she said. I thought she would be more excited, but this was not the case. Fabian just blinked absently at her. What a boring crowd these two make.

FABIAN

Her, a college student? What kind of sick joke is this? And what kind of name is Laila? Oh, she’s an American. That explains a lot. But her Romanian is flawless, I didn’t expect her to be a foreigner.

NOOOOOO! I am going to kill Gabriel, even if it means the vampire race will have one less specimen to worry about. Why did he do that? Is it not enough that I have to listen to her at the apartment? Now I have to bump into her at the University, as well.

Although, she doesn’t seem too excited by the news. Maybe that’s a good sign.

the 7^th of September, 2010

FABIAN

Email received from hot_fangs@yahoo.com

SUBJECT: how lame can you get

“It’s me, Gabriel. Just wanted to ask you what’s up with the whole bohemian writer crap? Have you gone soft on me? Well, anyway, there’s this other thing – I applied for the University. And guess what? My hot vampire self is in!! :-)

BTW, have you talked to Laila? You should communicate more with the people around you.

See you in class, you dork.“

My quiet life has just gone down the drain. Between Gabriel and that woman, I don’t know which is worse. Should I run now?

the 8^th of September, 2010

FABIAN

Okay, so I didn’t run away. Running was never my thing. I don’t even know if I have a thing. Besides writing, I mean. But that’s become a part of me after all these years.

I’ve started wondering if a history of vampires has ever been written. And I don’t mean, a history of all the actors that have played vampire parts. It just seems so unfair, so unstable – to never know the beginning of your own kind, to have no knowledge about your roots. The sad truth is that not even vampires are spared of ignorance.

But, maybe it’s not our fault entirely. I don’t blame vampires for wanting to keep a low profile, especially since humans have turned and twisted our attributes to their liking. Where do all the authors even get their ideas from? Glowing in the sun – seriously? Or holly water burning us. Oh, and my personal favourite – the STARE. Yes, the damned stare that can compel any human being. If you ask me, it’s even worse in the movies. The actors just bug the hell out of their eyes like they’re having a seizure. That is certainly the most attractive way of luring a victim.

And what is it with all the blood, people? Just because we have fangs doesn’t necessarily mean we have to hunt and prey. I mean, I drink my blood with a straw. Do you get it?? A straw!! Perfectly harmless.

the 15^th of September, 2010

LAILA

I’ve discovered that Fabian (yes, surprisingly, he has a name) is actually a very reserved person. He keeps to himself a lot. Despite that uneasy feeling he’s constantly making me have, my curiosity has gotten the best of me.

Two days ago, I knocked on his apartment door.

The music was loud again, but nonetheless, he answered immediately. What great hearing, I thought. My dad could have chocked in the living room for all I cared, and I still wouldn’t have heard his desperate cries for help. What was I saying? Oh, yeah. I knocked. And he opened the door. And stood there. Shirtless.

He just stood there while my jaw dropped.

I must have seemed like one of those raging teenager girls. Luckily, I regained my composure just before I could make a total fool out of myself.

“I’m sorry to bother you all of a sudden” I fidgeted. “I know we didn’t exactly get along from the beginning, but I don’t know anybody else here and...”

“And you thought I could maybe be the only person you knew?” he lifted one eyebrow at me.

“Huh? No! I mean, yes. Perhaps.” I’m sure by this time, I must have turned bright purple. I don’t normally go on knocking on strange men’s doors, men I don’t know, men I might even hate.

“O-kay.” He pronounced the word slowly. Why was I suddenly convinced this wasn’t such a good idea? Behind those foggy eyes, I couldn’t see anything, no emotion.

“It’s like no one’s really there” I uttered.

“What?” Fabian’s confused voice echoed through the hallway.

“Nothing, just... meet me tomorrow morning at 9. I need to buy some college books and, frankly speaking, I’m clueless of where I can do so. And you do seem like the type that reads, so...” There was an awkward pause here, during which we stared at each other. I was expecting him to flat out reject my plea, but instead he just looked puzzled, in a childlike way. Him? A child? Ha, I can’t imagine that.

“See you tomorrow, I guess.”

And the door closed.

FABIAN

Two days ago lightning struck in the form of an American girl named Laila. The lightning was followed by a storm of words that I couldn’t make out at first. All I could see was her pulse and all I could feel were my fangs itching to come out.

I struggled to maintain my calm. This fight against the thirst was given at an unknown level – my will against my need. But how could this be happening? I had fed hours before she decided to appear.

And then, I managed to hear her. Really hear her. “It’s like no one’s really there”

My humanity started pouring back into myself, filling me like a vessel. I had never experienced such a feeling in all my vampire years.

Suddenly, I was standing there again, looking in those glowing emerald eyes. And I couldn’t refuse what they were asking of me.

The next day, I found myself in the most unbelievable situation. Taking a human girl to buy books. Not just any human girl, but one dressed in the cutest blue dress I’d ever seen. Did I just say *cutest*? Hell, no. Scrap that.

the 16^th of September, 2010

LAILA

Today was DOOMS DAY. I don’t care what you’ve heard of 2012 or the Apocalypse. Today was the day.

How did I ever think I could get along with him? He’s proud and a know-it-all. He has a say in anything, an opinion on every subject. I barely spoke at all!

Who the hell does he think he is?

FABIAN

Today I was once again reminded why I prefer to walk alone. She is insufferable! I haven’t exactly reached the level of “pissed off” in a number of years, but she managed to push me towards it in a manner of minutes. The only substantial things she reads are Vogue magazines! No wonder the dress was nice. Oh, to hell with the dress. She is exactly like all the other young humans – shallow and blissfully content with her condition.

As a vampire, I am really PISSED OFF at the moment. Was it just yesterday that I craved for her blood?

GABRIEL

Now that’s a rare sight. Fabian escorted by a human. It’s Laila, no doubt – looking deliciously edible in blue today.

But, what the...?

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

I can’t believe my sparkling eyes.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

She kicked him. She really truly SERIOUSLY kicked him where no man or vampire should ever be kicked. My dear Fabian, what did you say to ever deserve such a fate?

LAILA

I am not shallow. If anything, I cried when Michael Jackson died.

Vampires Suck (2)

2010-09-25T02:37:00.000-07:00

FABIAN

My vampire life must be getting entirely too boring. A few minutes ago, I heard – or rather, I felt someone falling at my door. That doesn’t seem to happen every day so I rushed to see who it was and what he or she’s business might be.

To my surprise, it was just a clumsy young girl. She seemed to be still in highschool and at first I didn’t notice her nice features. Long wavy hair that reached her waist, the colour of honey, green eyes with the feeling of spring to them, full lips and rosy cheeks, it was a refreshing kind of beauty, one that loved to be bathed in the sun. I felt my lips curling in a smile as I realized the boxes around her meant she was moving in the empty apartment next door.

Yet, she didn’t like me from what I could tell. She didn’t even say a word as I carried the boxes for her. When I turned to face her, wanting to introduce myself, she seemed more than annoyed. Ugh, the vampire-go-away-crap. But I thought it was kind of fun watching her get mad at me for helping her, while she couldn’t understand her own feelings. I’ve witnessed such scenes so many times, none of which had bothered me in the slightest. Until now.

At least, I had the inspiration to leave before she could throw something at me.

So, I went back to listening to SOAD.

I could sense her anger at me even through the walls. It made me feel good in a perverse way. Was I thirsty for blood? No, of course not, I had just drunken some yesterday. Then, why did this girl remain in my thoughts?

I decided I didn’t care. I was bored, but not that bored.

the 8th of August, 2010

LAILA

Ahh, this is the life.

You know, I never thought of the benefits of living alone. I think If I had, I would have moved out a long time ago. Well, not exactly to this sort of place, but still. With dad, I could never sleep until afternoon and eat pizza for breakfast. Or listen to my iPod in the bath tub. Or paint the walls of my room. Anyway, you get the picture.

So, mostly, besides the fact that I have no idea where my father is or what he’s doing right now, I feel awesome. An independent woman, at last.

Okay, I can’t believe I just said – wrote that.

In his letter, dad said he would contact me later. He used to work for some secret agency I never bothered to ask about since he couldn’t exactly tell me about it. He actually met mom on one of his missions, this I know. During my childhood, we used to change homes a lot. It was fine while mom was alive, but it became a burden after she wasn’t there anymore. I mean, I became a burden to my dad. Or more specifically, to his job. So he quit.

Well, he didn’t exactly quit. In these kinds of jobs you can’t just retire whenever you want to. Especially when you know things. THINGS that others aren’t supposed to know. Dad had to change our identities after that and we settled in NY. Too obvious? Neah, you’d be surprised how people never bother to look for you in the most obvious hide-out places.

Ever since I was a little girl, I have been taught to obey orders. At least important ones, not the wash-the-dishes-or-you’re-grounded type of orders. I understood the gravity of things and the eventuality of us being discovered. And that’s why I can’t help feeling uneasy. The only reason why dad would do this to me is if we’ve been found out.

I am in no danger since I’m a civilian and everything. But dad is now branded as a traitor – and as you can see in all Hollywood movies – being a traitor has a price. A big one.

It would be nice to have someone to talk to. Someone who could grasp the situation and not just focus on the fact that I have been using a fake identity for the past 8 years. I mean, I only changed my surname. That’s not such a big deal. Other women do it all the time when they get married.

I didn’t have many friends back home. Not real friends, anyway. I wasn’t a hater or anything, but I just had this strange habit of spacing out.

Where was I? Oh, yeah, someone to talk to. At this point, I swear I’d talk to freaking Oprah. Anyone would do. Wait, anyone except that smug jerk that lives next to me. Speaking of which, I haven’t seen him or heard that loud music of his since the day after I moved in. It’s dead quiet. He couldn’t be, you know, dead, right? Suicide is a common occurrence in our days. But he didn’t quite strike me as the suicidal type, more like the homicidal one. And what reason would a guy with his looks have to end his life? Maybe that attitude of his.

Oh well, at least it’s quiet.

the 15th of August, 2010

LAILA

I’m honestly starting to wonder whether it will start to smell. You know, that horrid smell of a body in decay. Oh, well, I assume you don’t actually KNOW. Me either. But I’m expecting a strong smell to creep into my apartment soon now. Seriously.

It’s been two weeks. I haven’t heard the door open once. Since I stayed at home, except for short walks to the market, I am positively sure he hasn’t left the apartment at all. And these walls are paper thin, I think if I concentrated enough I could even hear him breathe.

Nothing, absolutely nothing. And I keep getting this weird vibe, you know, the kind that haunted houses give off. So now I’m sure I’m crazy. I’ve always been a sucker for Sci-Fi, but this is just way too much.

The dead can’t carry boxes, can they? And they sure as hell wouldn’t look like that. Argh, what is wrong with my brain cells? I’m actually obsessed with a guy I saw for only 5 minutes. And in the most morbid way, possible, too.

This is all because I don’t know anyone here. I’ve got to widen my horizons or next thing you know, I’ll end up flying off a building.

But is it normal for it to be so quiet???

Not in NY, it wasn’t. Sigh.

FABIAN

I can sense a very gloomy atmosphere from next door. Just what is that girl doing? I liked it better when the pot-smoking humans lived there. At least they “chilled” all the time. The energy they gave off was much more peaceful. Hers is chaotic. It makes me dizzy only by concentrating on it. What the hell is she doing??

Well, it’s not exactly like I can go there and ask her. She kind off hates my guts because of the whole vampire mojo. Every person I’ve encountered has quietly kept her distance from me after they’ve felt it. It’s just like being ignored in highschool, not so cool, but at least you get to mind your own business.

Anyway, the heat is even worse now. I think I barely went out off the house for these past two weeks. Except for some nights, when I broke into the blood bank. It’s really not that big of a deal. Hospitals are always so busy, they don’t even notice you’re not supposed to be there in the first place.

Uhm, I’ve ran out of reading material. Seems like tomorrow I’m going to have to come out of my cave. Yuppie. Great.

the 16th of August, 2010

FABIAN

7:00 – stop alarm by slamming clock into wall

7:10 – wake up due to inhumane screaming

7:11 – bang on crazy neighbor’s door to see what is wrong

7:15 – screaming increases

7:16 – bust down the damned door

7:16 – screaming stops abruptly

7:17 – large frying pan thrown into my face

Fortunately, I avoided it just in time. Yes, it was her. And yes, she was the one doing all that insufferable screaming.

LAILA

Oh , my God, I did not just see a rat, did I??

68**)^jkas&*62nassssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss

Okay, so I left the newspaper on the keyboard.

I think this all must be a nightmare.

First, the rat. Of course I screamed like a kid at the dentist, there was a rat in my bathroom, for Heaven sake! But to think any man, no – any human being, would ever do that!

I have never been more shocked in my life. And it’s not because of the rat. I’ve seen them on TV before, so it’s not like I just discovered they exist. It’s because of the draft I am feeling since I am now lacking a DOOR!!!!!!

FABIAN

This little girl is driving me insane. She’s been going on and on for the last hour about how she is going to sue me. Sue me? Is she serious? Who wouldn’t have feared the worst with all that screeching?

I will pay for the stupid door. After all, stupidity has a price. That’ll teach me a lesson never to meddle in human affairs again. Especially the ones from this century.

But a frying pan? What the hell.

the 23rd of August, 2010

LAILA

He got the door fixed.

FABIAN

That delightful creature has stopped nagging me since I repaired her door.

Peace is once more settled in vampire land.

Vampires Suck (1)

2010-09-17T09:38:00.000-07:00

the 28^th of July, 2010

FABIAN

Here goes.

19-year-old male, born in the suburbs of Bucharest, Romania. This all happened back in 1920. So how is it possible for me to be living in the year 2010? Time traveling, of course! Get real, how could that be possible here of all places in the world? Those things only happen in America.

Don’t mind the useless parts of my babbling, it’s just a habit of mine. Some people prefer walking for miles and miles, yet I prefer talking. And talking. And then some more talking. Anyway, what am I supposed to do after being around for almost a century? Learn how to levitate? Hell, no, not my style.

So, have you guessed yet? Want a clue? Think Dracula, blood and fangs. Just without the crazed look of insane hunger. Oh, and ten times more good looking. Or make that double?

Yes, I’m a modern vampire. Now, some of you girls out there might start squeaking. Stop that. NOW. I’ll hunt you down and make sure you never make a sound again. Hey, I don’t have a pulse, but my morals are intact. Vanity I can take, but not stupidity.

Mostly my days are boring. I don’t hunt the innocent. Nor do I sleep during the day and lurk during the night. I do prefer darkness though, but only because it helps me calm down my thoughts. I can eat real food. Occasionally, I go to the blood bank and steal some bags, but that’s all there is to it. No compelling. No seductive gaze. Just me and a plastic bag of red liquid.

I don’t know how I’ve been created and I have no recollection of the life I was leading before I turned into a vampire. I’ve met other vampires over the years, but they were all normal. Actually, they could pass for more normal than most people nowadays. Just so you know, we aren’t all that great.

Since we don’t have any vampire leader, don’t belong to a vampire community and I’m pretty sure there are no vampire churches either, I just wander through life, changing locations when people start to suspect the fact that I don’t age and look stunning when they’ve already grown a mustache.

I’m also a college student. I seriously despise people my own age (in human years). They are beyond dense and superficial. I try occupying my time with writing. Or so I did, up until now...

Oh, yeah, the name’s Fabian.

the 1^st of August, 2010

FABIAN

It’s summer and I’m melting.

Not as in literally melting from being in the light, but as in – the temperature is the same as that in hell, if there is such a thing as hell. So, the accurate phrase is “I’m sweating like a vampire pig”. Not so sexy anymore, ey, Twilight-fans?

The air conditioner is on, but it’s merely taunting me. Sometimes I feel like throwing the damn thing out the window. Given the fact that I live in a small flat at the 2^nd floor, the satisfaction wouldn’t be that great. Being able to fly or float or whatever like some vampires do in books, actually sounds good, no pretense here. But it’s impossible for me. Though, I’ve heard stories of some old vampires (old as in a thousand years of undead life experience) who were capable of flying and hypnotizing.

As tempting as it might be, I don’t want to live that much. I already am bored beyond my wits. I’ve heard that beheading would do the trick for my kind. I suspect it to be true, as well. All the other methods of killing a vampire are just made-up stories. I mean, do you actually believe garlic could be our worst enemy?

But anyway, it’s Sunday, so everybody’s out. It’s also very quiet since my pot-smoking-neighbors were raided last month. What is it with humans and drugs? Not to comment on their effects, but they’re obscenely expensive. As a vampire, I’ve earned a small fortune over the years, but I would much rather spend it on something else.

So, now I’m listening to SOAD’s last album, the one they’ve released before their band dissolved. I only take pride in two of my possessions. Those are my book collection and my audio system – the last was purchased as a gift I made myself for Christmas. I might be an antisocial loner and a vampire, but presents are presents. You can almost feel my grin in these words, I know.

Well, being a vampire does have its benefits nowadays. There is this natural repelling barrier that we give off. The people around us are not supernatural beings, but their senses tell them to keep their distance. For me, whose personality has never been the let’s-be-BFFs type, this is just a bonus. For other vampires it can get a little inconvenient. I, on other hand, am just fine.

That’s why nobody could have predicted the coming of a human in my life. Never. Yet that didn’t stop her from annoying me all the time.

LAILA

I am so going to kill that son of a bitch! What kind of father would make his own daughter go to a country whose name he can’t even spell right? And buy her an apartment in this area, as well. I swear, I saw some gangsters just around the block. What is this place?

I’m Laila, by the way. I moved here from NY. Well, was forced to move here, since my stupid father went missing. He only left me a letter with instructions to come to Romania. My mother was born here, so I have no trouble with the language. Unfortunately, she died when I was 10, leaving me alone with a lunatic.

Starting this fall, I’ll be attending classes at the University of Bucharest. I did look forward to going to college, but that was last year when things hadn’t been so messed up. How could he do this to me? I’m only 18-years-old, isn’t he afraid I’d get pregnant or something?

Putting that aside, everything’s just peachy.

Great, the elevator’s broken. Normally, I wouldn’t mind, but with a bunch of boxes to move, who could blame me? Ugh. Let’s just get this over with, I thought.

But as I tried to keep my balance, I got distracted. At the second floor, I heard music. I sighed. What crazy neighbors would I have? After double-checking the letter, I resigned and went on. My apartment was on the second floor, as well.

Just as I was passing by the place where that loud music was playing, I tripped. Yeah, leave it to me to be graceful.

And then it happened.

The music stopped right away and the door swung open.

I had never seen anyone so stunning. His eyes were grey with a hint of blue, with an evil glint to them. His hair was as black as coal. Tall, broad-shouldered, he stood there towering over me. He seemed so out of place, why, I can’t explain. A devilish grin spread across his face. Was he laughing at me? Oh my God.

I started recollecting myself off the pavement and felt the blood rush in my face.

“Are you moving in?” he asked me, his voice very steady and normal. Still, I couldn’t help, but feel rejected by this person. Rejected? The heat must be getting to me.

He seemed to sense my nervousness and grabbed my boxes for me.

“Seems like you’ll be living next door” he said. I just nodded. Again, I felt a wave of disappointment, as if I was being brushed off.

After he easily placed the boxes I struggled so much with, he turned towards me. His expression was bored, but mostly unreadable.

“You can leave now” I snapped. “Thank you” I then added embarrassed.

He just widened his eyes and the chuckled. Just what was so funny?

“Excuse me, why are you laughing?” I thought it better to be polite. After all, I would be living next door to him from now on. I wouldn’t want to be punished by his music every day.

“Nothing” he calmly answered. I had this strong urge to slap him. Why was I so on the edge around this person? Finally, he seemed to understand he was bothering me and left without saying another word.

Shortly enough, I heard that music again.

Welcome home, Laila.

* Note:

Special thanks to my best friend, Annie, who suggested I write about a vampire such as Fabian in the first place.

Will Be Continued Soon

Îndrăgostiţi

2010-03-30T08:37:00.000-07:00

Unde locuiesc îndrăgostiţii?

Printre fluturi şi furtuni,

Într-o aglomeraţie de mâini,

Pe plaja vie a tinereţii...

În oraşul gol al cerului,

Fără niciun semafor,

Privind pământul incolor

De pe buza amorului...

Departe de minciuna sorţii

Prin beţie şi descântec,

Cu fiori dansând în pântec –

Acolo locuiesc îndrăgostiţii...

2010-02-24T06:51:00.000-08:00

De prin vechituri...
[click pt. imaginea în dimensiune originală]

Depressia [part 2]

2010-02-20T15:45:00.001-08:00

So how long has it been, my grim readers? Agh, who cares. The only thing that matters right now is the evacuation order I received yesterday. Who knew money could buy you out of your own apartment? Anyway, that's not the only good news I've received this week. Turns out I won a contest. And this is the part when you all eyeball me like I just confirmed my insanity on paper. Well, let's see... what could I possibly do with a free bikini wax and french-pedicure? Die unhappy, that is. So stop nagging me like some squeamish old hag.

Oh, almost forgot. I changed my brand of cigarettes. Now I'm on some cheap crap even my cat hates. Gotta pay the rent somehow. Sigh. Seriously, winding up like my best friend the homeless guy (gay guy, that is) isn't top on my priority list. Actually, it's right next to the bikini wax. Maybe I'll make that a donation for some poor brainless blonde. Tempting, freakishly tempting.
So, during my last hangover (which is still in progress) I came up with the most wicked idea while staring at my one-eared cat - one thing though, I can't seem to remember a fucking thing now. Oh, well.

Depressia [part 1]

2009-12-26T11:44:00.000-08:00

Oh, crap. My usual I-don't-give-a-fuck mood is turning into I-just-wanna-slit-a-throat mood. Attractive, right? Not really. I look like a combo between Goth & Goth-er, if you get what I mean. I've been drinking coffee with rum for the past few hours and I still can't feel numb. I think it's just making me fat. Gotta lay off this shit, that's for sure.

I'm Depressia. Yep, with a name like that, no wonder I'm depressed. And no, my mother wasn't smoking pot when she gave it to me. At least, not at that moment. I think dad, oh sorry, I mean he-who-is-nowhere-to-be-found, must have come up with it on one of his out-of-body experiences. So, coming back to the most precious me, I'm a twenty-year-old ex-student, with a degree in fucking things up. Or just fucking them. Anyway, I don't have a job or a future. I only eat what's in labeled bottles and sleep during the day. My best friend (a forty-year-old homeless guy - don't laugh, we have a strong bond. Too bad he's gay, I would've asked him to be my roomie) says I'm the modern version of an alcohol-sucking vampire. Seriously, do I look tall, dark and... eh, beautiful?
Oh, fuck that (yes, I do say the f-word a lot. I think it's grown on me. I wouldn't mind if my name was Fuckia. Sounds exotic, right? That's what I thought too.). So, tonight was supposed to be just another very-common-and-alone-spent night. Well, not completely alone, I do have my cat with me. She's missing an ear, but I think it's part of her charm. I even got her tail pierced. So, like I said, it was one of those nights when I celebrated my retardyness (and if that isn't a word, it still applies perfectly to me). But unlike the other nights, it felt... wrong. More than it usually did. Depressia is in depression mode. Is that funny or what?

Sophisticated lies

2009-12-21T13:28:00.000-08:00

Ten past eleven. The last hour as I would call it. How boring it seems to me. Or rather – how uninteresting. I never thought that as I grew out of childhood, the nearer my birthdays would be, the less enthusiastic I’d grow. I don’t feel as if I’m growing old and I don’t particularly care. My current life is under a heavy cloud of indifference and boredom. Perhaps, with a chance of ironic rain from time to time, but nothing spectacular.

I can never quite understand other people. Nor do I like them. Sure, they make an interesting study and I am still far too selfish not to want to help them. In fact, I should admit to never completely understanding myself. I often find myself questioning my own moods – are they really mine or am I just mirroring someone else? It confuses me a great deal.

To one conclusion I have come for sure: there is something of a chameleon in the human nature, or else, how would I be able to conform myself to such a multitude of situations? Nevertheless, I am a shallow being, I know that. The only thing I am afraid of is that others should discover this as well. They have yet to see through my coloured lies. They think of me as good on the inside when I am only cruel on the outside. Who is to blame for this? It’s a matter of common fault, I should say.

I have come to realize I do nothing for myself anymore. It is strange because at the same time, I do nothing for the others. I just meaninglessly continue to exist, strolling through a park of sophisticated nothings. Is this the true emptiness of the soul’s resignation? Although I wish to wake up, I am not chasing after the answer. I remain floating, floating over an abyss of dullness and shadows.

EROUL CELOR TREI CUVINTE

2009-12-03T09:36:00.000-08:00

Uită-te la mine!

Când cerul se prăbuşeşte
şi cu luna ne învelim,
alb-electric scurt trosneşte –
nor şi smoală ademenim...

Când oceanul se răscoală
şi cu valul ne înrobim,
doar albastrul e răceală –
ţărm în scoică, şi lovim...

Când pâmântul se dezbină
şi cu piatra ne stârpim,
lemn născut supt în ruină –
rădăcină-n ramură râvnim...

Ajută-mă pe mine!

Când sufletul se uită
şi cu ochiul ne zâmbim,
buza goală doar să mintă –
pulsul, ritmul jerpelim...

Când sunetul se căieşte
şi cu raţiune ne cântăm,
pustia aspru pedepseşte –
ecou în notă alunecăm...

Când amorul se pretinde
şi cu gheaţă ne pictăm,
visul visului se vinde –
viaţa, numai, căutăm!

...cine?

Cerul iarăşi îl ridică
şi cu soare dezveleşte,
fluturi albi din rază pică –
senin şi plin vesteşte...

Oceanul umple de calm
şi cu unda mulţumeşte,
transparent şi pur, un psalm –
nisipul ce îl despleteşte...

Pâmântul la loc ţese
şi cu iarba împodobeşte,
chipuri fine de prinţese –
iată, idila zăboveşte...

Spune-mi, te rog, cine?

Cel c-un suflet cât o mie
fără ochi, ce încă priveşte,
cu buzele cusute, tot îmbie –
inima din nou porneşte!

Cel cu sunet pentru toţi
fără gând, ce încă aude,
o mulţime, zile, nopţi –
cântecel de cântec râde!

Cel ce-i amor prin nume
fără frică, ce încă simte,
taina de erou în lume –
viaţa pentru trei cuvinte...

Vis de Toamnă...

2009-09-30T04:58:00.000-07:00

Mă trezesc lent ca de fiecare dată când simt că vântul mă leagănă. Pe când plutesc pe valul treziei, nu mă pot poziţiona în timp. E dimineaţă? E seară? Sunt bolnavă? De ce plouă? Nu pot să văd dincolo de perdeaua galbenă, dar nici nu mi se pare important. Tot ce ştiu este că am visat toată noaptea. Acum visele se întrepătrund, împletindu-se într-un singur fir cu noduri.

Într-un fragment de vis existam într-o lume de gheaţă şi suflu rece, dar încă nu mă născusem. Erau acele clipe de amorţeală a senzaţiei, când orice ai simţi nu este real. În jur, totul era un veşmânt infinit şi alb. Poate m-am rătăcit în Paradis, a fost primul meu gând. Dar, mi-am dat repede seama că niciun paradis n-ar fi atât de plin de şoapte, şi totuşi atât de gol...

Apoi, visul s-a întrerupt şi pentru o secundă sau o zi, mi-e imposibil să spun, n-a mai fost nimic. Nici măcar acea vagă speranţă că undeva exist, chiar şi fără să fiu. Şi-atunci, când nu mai rămăsese nimic decât resemnare şi inexistenţă, m-am născut cu adevărat, într-o lume nouă. În sfârşit, puteam să simt mai mult decât o imitaţie, să mă înec în băi de soare şi să plutesc deasupra unei lumi străine. Când a venit, însă, timpul să mă despart de haina mea cea albă, am vărsat lacrimi mari şi reci, de parcă nu mi-ar fi aparţinut. Şi în oglinda ce s-a format din ele, m-am zărit pe mine aşa cum mi-a fost dintotdeauna scris să exist şi să fiu - tânără şi firavă, un mugure printre alţi mii. Cu toţii îmi erau rude, fraţi şi surori, chiar dacă nu împărţeam aceeaşi ramură. Ceea ce ne lega, aveam să descopăr, era chiar sfârşitul.

Visul m-a purtat pe un drum împodobit cu miresme de flori, zumzetele gâzelor şi cântece ale zburătoarelor. Un eveniment din viaţa tinerilor aristocraţi, printre care mă aflam şi eu, bineînţeles, aşadar prima lor ieşire oficială. Oriunde ai fi privit, vedeai rochii verzi, subţiri şi creponate. Rochia mea, la fel ca a celorlalte surori, desena un model din nervuri transparente. Mă simţeam cu adevărat importantă, doar era debutul meu! Mai târziu, aveam să aflu că eram o prinţesă în Regatul Primăverii.

Când balul s-a terminat, s-a schimbat pentru a treia oară visul. Nu mai aveam rochiţa creponată, şi nici firavă nu mai eram. Ajunsesem la maturitate, iar Marele Artist al Verii mă pictase-n verde crud. Ştiam deja tot ce era de ştiut în lumea mea, iar uneori aveam impresia că ştiu prea multe. De pildă, dimensiunea în care mi se formase voinţa, nu era altceva decât Închisoarea Iernatică, în mod ironic, predecesoarea tuturor începuturilor şi cauza renaşterii.

Urma să se termine, simţeam cum întreaga fiinţă începea să-mi vibreze - aşa m-a întâmpinat sfârşitul visului, un amalgam de senzaţii şi temeri. Temeri, de ce? Dar, stai, până acum câteva momente eram convinsă că totul a fost un vis... nu?

Sunt trează. M-am deşteptat în sfârşit din reverie. Realizez că ceea ce tocmai am văzut este o retrospectivă a vieţii mele şi mă apucă tremuratul. Sunt o biată frunză. Sunt bătrână şi gălbejită şi sunt o frunză! Totul mă doare de când soarele m-a părăsit. Simt lacrimile cerului mai amare ca niciodată. Lumea mea se stinge o dată cu mine, iar eu privesc neputincioasă. Vântul mă jumuleşte pe mine şi pe surorile mele. Pe multe dintre ele le văd cum cad una câte una, îndreptându-se către inevitabil. „NU!”, încerc să mă zbat când ramura îmi dă drumul. Cad. Cad în gol şi nimic nu mă poate salva. Şi cu toate acestea, încă mai sper, încă mai cred... doar un vis... un Vis de Toamnă.

Dark soul

2009-09-14T06:41:00.000-07:00

Scribbling my heart on stone -
This soul screams empty, all alone.

Falling each time more deeper
In this void of which I am the keeper.

Lost in my rage for years suppressed,
I beg to be by you possessed.

Just carve my soul with this dark clay
And I shall follow your evil way.

Heart of the ocean

2009-08-20T12:46:00.000-07:00

(Ro)maniac şi alte flori

2009-08-19T12:46:00.000-07:00

Suflete și proiecții

2009-08-15T13:45:00.000-07:00

E vina mea că ei nu mă văd așa cum sunt. Așa mi se cuvine dacă m-am învelit cu o pătură prea groasă atunci când ceilalți dorm dezveliți. Prefă-te că n-a fost și totul va fi ok. Prefăt-e că nu-ți pasă și vor înceta. Nu chiar. Deloc.

Nu le va păsa că tu suferi când suferința lor pare mai mare. Și indiferent cine strigă mai tare, fiecare își apără durerea sa. Să fie din instinct? Dacă da, instinctul nostru primar se pierde undeva între răutate și egoism. Poate vă întrebați de ce nu încerc să fiu mai optimistă. Vezi tu, eu știu deja că lumea e mai mult decât gri. Lumea asta există gri. Respiră gri. Oferă tot gri. Până și curcubeul nu este altceva decât mai multe nuanțe de gri. GRI. Ei, cum îți sună? Destul de gri, nu?

Nu știu dacă v-ați dat seama până acum, dar ceea ce ei văd în noi este doar o remodelare în ceea ce vor să vadă. O iluzie transparentă care totuși nu dispare. Să-i zicem proiecție. De-a lungul vieții, colecționăm mii de proiecții ale noastre, niciuna la fel. Dar spre deosebire de mulțimile de la matematică, sufletul nu se intersectează niciodată cu iluziile pe care le percep ceilalți. El plutește mereu pe granița relațiilor pe care le avem cu alții. Și da, asta înseamnă că specia umană va fi neînteleasă timp de o eternitate.

Confesiunile unui ființe absurde

2009-08-14T08:19:00.005-07:00

Au trecut luni de când n-am mai scris ceva doar pentru plăcerea de a scrie. A trecut mai mult de un an de când mi-am închis gândurile într-o cutie, undeva în spatele subconștientului. Le-am aruncat acolo și am îngropat cheia și mai adânc. Au trecut săptămâni de când caut cheia și n-o găsesc. Am împins atât de tare în peretele din fața mea încât am uitat pentru ce mă lupt. Am uitat unde am pus cheia. Au trecut zile întregi de când mă întreb - oare am să mai pot deschide vreodată cutia? Să pot să strig, să plâng, să simt... să dezlănțui furtuna dinăuntrul meu! Mii de gânduri, mii de vise, să-mi amintesc în ce credeam și ce vroiam să reprezint, motivul pentru care aș fi vrut să trăiesc, scopul pe care tânjeam să-l ating, tot. Unde s-au dus toate gândurile mele?

Acum totul se amestecă. Acum nu mai pot simți pentru mine. Mi-au amorțit toate senzațiile. Nicio percepție. Fără păreri. Zero dorințe. E normal? Ha, ca să vezi. N-am fost niciodată anormală în sensul cel mai adesea folosit al cuvântului. Nu sunt o criminală în serie cu personalitate multiplă. Sunt doar un alt om cu probleme multiple, mai mici poate decât cele ale tale. Sau poate nu. Nu mă întelege greșit, nu mă plâng. Dacă încă n-am renunțat, m-am resemnat oricum de mult. Încerc doar să găsesc cheia, să arunc afară totul din cutie și apoi s-o izbesc de perete. Și din nou să urlu. Să urlu până mi se usucă gâtul, pânâ mi se despică în două capul... până ajung să simt din nou adrenalina. Da, adrenalina care te face să vrei totul, să iei totul, să sari de pe cel mai înalt loc, să lovești în gol - să trăiești, indiferent de ce se petrece în jurul tău.

Am câștigat lupte pe care nu le-am cerut și am pierdut altele pe care am uitat că le începusem chiar eu. M-am rugat cândva la cineva în care acum nu mai cred. S-au făcut pariuri cu sufletul meu și l-am pierdut în fața unei mize machiavelice. Am desenat o lume cu mulți oameni în ea, dar creionul s-a șters repede. M-am mânjit cu tot în afară de ce îmi doream mai mult. Am scris aici, dar cheia n-a ieșit la suprafață. Atunci, despre ce să scriu în viitorul care mă așteaptă? Despre speranța că într-o zi voi găsi o nouă cheie?

Nu sunt eu așa de norocoasă.

Sky ~~

2009-08-02T15:22:00.000-07:00

Poze făcute cu telefonul mobil prin Călărași.
We people are infinitely busy - still, take your time to look at the sky.

Rock the City cu Limp Bizkit

2009-06-29T00:17:00.000-07:00

Așadar, duminică la Arene atmosfera a fost demențială. Dj Lethal a dat tonul show-ului pe la 21.15. Un intro tare urmat de o intrare în forță pe “My Generation”. Încalzire de excepție, chiar și pe ploaia care a fost, și un sunet bun, bun de tot.
Hit dupa hit și piese bune de sărit în cap. Fred Durst a urcat în tribună, a sărit non-stop și a chemat un fan pe scenă pentru un “break your fuckin' neck”.
Deși au venit cam târziu, Limp Bizkit ne-au arătat că se poate "rupe scena" și în România. Și acum, cine știe? Poate data viitoare vin cei de la Linkin Park!

PS: Yep, nu e frumos sa uit să-i menționez pe cei de la Saga și Queensryche care au cântat în deschidere.

Filmed by FlashLight

Mozart Rocks

2009-06-26T12:35:00.000-07:00

N-am crezut că voi asculta vreodată Ave Maria cântată cu chitara electrică. Sau Nunta lui Figaro. Sau... bine, ați prins ideea.

Ieri, 25 iunie, la Sala Palatului. Urmăriți înregistrarea și o să vă pară rău că n-ați fost acolo!

Filmulețul nu îmi aparține (am avut locuri in front! ^^).

Și ce-ai vrea să spun?

2009-06-05T10:29:00.000-07:00

Vine vara... și ce-ai vrea să spun? A, da, ce tare, e vacanță, băăă! Nu spun asta. Dacă zic că n-o spun, n-o spun. Care e problema? Niciuna. Și atunci, de ce vrei să rezolvi asta? Încruntă-te și lasa-mă pe mine să explic situația. Stai, uită ce am zis, n-are legatură. Sau poate are, dar nu ne-am dat niciunul seama. Chiar nu știu ce reacție ar trebui să am. De fapt, nu mă refer la vară. Nici nu știu la ce mă refer. Ahhh, ba știu și nu vreau să-ți spun, hahaha. Nope, ziceam și eu.

Okay, acum mă uit la un film în care e o tipă și tocmai a dat un telefon. Acum râd doi proști și se bâlbâie pentru că tocmai o făcuseră cu o seară înainte. Oops, ea a trântit ușa. Bine, să las naiba filmul. End postare. Și ce-ai vrea să mai spun?

Sounds like home

2009-05-17T05:32:00.000-07:00

Maybe this world is another planet's hell. Or maybe I've been reading a little too much science-fiction lately. Either way, I just can't help myself from asking: how else could we explain what a dreaded place this world's become?

Lies.

Pain.

Hate.

Loneliness.

Tears.

Disloyalty.

Envy.

Fear.

Darkness.

Death.

Flames.

Hell.

How can anything else compensate for all these horrors? Do I hear an answer there in the back? Nope, just my imagination. Silence in the hall. Guess I'm back to my initial phrase. Maybe this world's another planet's hell. That's only fair, since it's nowhere near being called a paradise.
No, I'm not depressed or anything. It's just my usual self talking about the possibility of hell being on Earth. Oh, give me a break! I'm not suicidal either. Fuck, do I look like a kamikaze? Anyway, back on topic, what is a kind word compared to a rape? Or a smile compared to a murder? We can pretend to fool ourselves, but for how long? Just go on walking like everything is all pink and fluffy. Yeah, that's our idea of democracy - deluding ourselves.
No special message for those who read this. No warning to try and change something out there. No intention to make them save the world. We're already damned, all of us. So yeah, this is hell.

Leapşa

2009-04-17T07:16:00.000-07:00

Am reuşit să citesc în sfârşit postul Karynutzei azi noapte pe la 2. Mi s-a părut o super idee să jucăm "leapşa" pe blog aşa că n-o să mă mai lungesc mult cu vorba. Lista de cuvinte este următoarea: aripi, îngeri, visători, vama şi speranţă.

Aripi = tot ce înseamnă frumuseţe are aripi: fluturii, îngerii, porumbeii, copiii, sufletul, imaginaţia... când spui că ai aripi, îţi declari libertatea în faţa întregului Univers. Nimic nu mai contează, doar acea senzaţie de zbor şi foşnetul de pene - gol cu aripi.

Îngeri = ocupă cel mai înalt rang în ierarhia sufletelor. Sunt un fel de cutie a Pandorei, pe care atunci când o deschizi, împrăştie dragoste, căldură, bunătate şi compasiune. Îngerii sunt lumina vie care zace în ochii celor dragi şi chiar şi aşa, nu ne este ruşine să îi confundăm.

Visători = specie pe cale de dispariţie. Trăsături: trăiesc în habitate aeriene, deseori printre nori. Cea mai populată zonă de visători este Al 9-lea Cer. Visătorii se hrănesc cu credinţa şi speranţa în idealurile lor şi, deşi numărul lor este în continuă descreştere, refuză să se adapteze la condiţiile habitatelor realiste.

Vama(Veche) = unicul mal al mării unde poţi uita de tine şi singura trupa care a fost (şi încă mai este, dar în altă formulă) mai mult decât un nume. "Nimeni n-o sa iti explice ce e Dragostea/ Asta singur, într-o zi de vară, o vei afla..."

Speranţă = remediul deznădejdii şi al derutei. Este un antidot universal, care funcţionează indiferent de posesor. E mai uşor să trăieşti plin de speranţă decât să supravieţuieşti lipsit de ea.

Who's next? Lista mea de cuvinte este pentru Annie şi cuprinde:

Nori
Prieteni
Poze
Munte
Fericire

Pix

2009-03-28T14:26:00.001-07:00

30 secunde + un pix + o sesiune care mă plictisea + invert colors + add text = . . . my creation! Deci, ce părere aveți??